SPOILER ALERT! I’M HIGH ON ENERGY DRINKS! SPOILER ALERT!
In this episode, we learn the power of using toddlers as bait.
Wholesome!
In the enchanted forest, Neal meets Robin Hood’s little son, Roland and hatches a plan to get to Neverland. It turns out that all you have to do is have a child say, “I believe” by a window and Peter Pan’s Shadow will come to take them away. Neal grabs the Shadow’s foot and away he goes to Neverland.
Incidentally, when discussing options to open portals to Neverland, Neal mentions ruby slippers, like the kind Dorothy had in MGM‘s version of The Wizard of Oz. It’s important to not tha tin the original L. Frank Baum story, that the shoes were actually silver, and that’s what they’d probably have to go with is they told any of The Wizard of Oz story because of rights issues.
Miss the apple on purpose! SHOOT HIM IN THE FACE!
In the camp of the Lost Boys, Peter Pan crows like a rooster to wake Henry up. Well, he tried to crow like a rooster. I don’t think that it sounded anything like a rooster. It was more like some sort of weird cough.
Anyway, Peter Pan wants to turn our little Henry into a little bastard, so he orders Henry to try and shoot an apple off of Felix’s head with a poison arrow. You know, because just accidentally shooting Felix in the face wouldn’t enough. He’d have to accidentally poison Felix in the face as well. Well, Henry just turned right around and shot the arrow at Peter Pan, who used his mad ninja skills to catch it in midair.
Henry, a young child, tried to murder another child in cold blood. Looks like Henry is taking after Regina.
I don’t believe in fairies!
Meanwhile, the bickering alliance of Heroes and Villains is having trouble finding Peter Pan’s camp, so they decide try and find Tinker Bell, because she might have magic pixie dust, which is, like, way better than fairy dust.
Yes, in this universe, pixie dust and fairy dust are two different things, but they’re both made by the fairies. That’s not confusing at all.
Regina doesn’t like the idea of finding Tinker Bell, though. She and Tinker Bell have a past.
WHO COULD THIS BE!?
It turns out that in the past, Tinker Bell put her ass on the line to steal some pixie dust from the Blue Fairy that could be used to find Regina a new soul mate. Unfortunately, after the pixie dust was used, Regina was too afraid to go after her new true love, a man with a lion tattoo, and the Blue Fairy stripped Tinker Bell of her wings for stealing the dust. Tinker Bell is quite rightly miffed that her sacrifice was for nothing.
I really don’t like the way that the Blue Fairy behaves in this episode. These events take place before Regina becomes the Evil Queen and yet the Blue Fairy refuses to give the pixie dust to her because her mother, Cora, was evil. How good is a fairy, if her heart is full of prejudice?
I hope there’s an upcoming episode where everyone claps and Tinker Bell regains her wings. Also, since Tinker Bell doesn’t have magic anymore, it couldn’t have been her that was messing with Rumpelstiltskin with his old doll, so who was it? Curious.
I assure you, this is Robin Hood’s arm.
In this episode, we almost find out f it’s Aurora or Philip that Mulan is in love with. Presumably, it’s Aurora, because that was who she was about to confess too, but, unfortunately, before Mulan can say anything, Aurora tells her that she’s pregnant with Philip’s baby. Mulan decides to do the honourable thing and keep her mouth shut and also run away with Robin Hood’s band of Merry Men, as one does when their heart is broken.
Anyway, big surprise! It’s Robin Hood that has the lion tattoo and is, therefore, Regina’s soulmate. I find it interesting that it’s a lion. Does this mean that Robin Hood is secretly King Richard the Lionheart?
All that Regina knows about her soulmate is that he has a lion tattoo. Want to bet that some evildoer gets a lion tattoo to trick her?
I see London! I see France!
Well, that’s all for this week. Here, have a picture of Tinker Bell’s underpants.
Hello everyone, and welcome to Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, the needless spinoff of Once Upon a Time, that, thus far, isn’t really the distinguishable from Once Upon a Time in any way.
If you’ve seen the previews for this show, then you’ve pretty much know most of the plot of this episode: Alice travels to Wonderland. Alice falls in love with a genie named “Cyrus”. The Red Queen kills Cyrus. Alice returns to the real world where everyone thinks shes crazy and sends her to an asylum. The Knave of Hearts and the White Rabbit breaks Alice out of the Asylum and return her to Wonderland. Alice believes that Cyrus is really alive and the start a search for him
There were two main twists: The White Rabbit is really working for the Red Queen and Jafar is in Wonderland because he want’s the three wishes that Cyrus gave to Alice.
So, with the recap done, here’s what I thought of the characters:
Bah! Another kid!
Young Alice
Young Alice is another annoying kid for us all to have. Like Henry from Once Upon a Time, her main trait is that she believes in fantastical things, even though those around her tell her that none of it is real.
I sure hope that we don’t get a bunch of flashbacks her annoying kid adventures in Wonderland.
Strange Attire
Adult Alice
Alice’s main trait is that she likes to run around in her underwear. Seriously, she spends most of this episode in Victorian undergarments.
In this episode, Alice signs a form and the camera cuts away before we see her last name. I wonder if her last name is significant. Maybe she is related to one of the characters from Once Upon a Time and they don’t want us to know about it just yet. Otherwise, she probably doesn’t have a last name, because the last name of Alice from the original stories was never mentioned.
Dr. Lyndgate and the Gaslighting Crew
Dr. Lyndgate
Dr. Lyndgate is one of the doctors of Bethlem Asylum and tries to convince Alice that Wonderland isn’t real. He is cast somewhat as a villain, but he really doesn’t have any evidence that Wonderland is real and the only conclusion to be had is that Alice is delusional. It’s just too bad that Victorian Era mental health treatments usually ended up doing more harm than good.
Even though Alice has escaped from the asylum, I don’t think that this is the last we will see of Dr. Lyndgate. Someone has to explain to Alice’s father what happened to her. Plus, Dr. Lyndgate has now seen the White Rabbit. Is he a believer now or does he discount what he’s seen as an hallucination?
Handsome!
Cyrus the Genie
Cyrus’ main traits are that he is handsome, he looks good and he wears a vest. Other than that, from what little we see of him in this episode, I guess it can be ascertained that he’s charming and a good fighter. He doesn’t seen to have any magic powers like a genie should and The Knave of Hearts even says that he has no magic, which is weird.
Cyrus gets thrown off a cliff and is presumed dead, but it’s really a trick by The Red Queen and Jafar to capture him. I thought that genies could fly though?
The leather jacket means that he’s a renegade.
The Knave of Hearts
The Knave of Hearts is our roguish badboy with a heart of gold. He did some bad things in Wonderland an dis on the run. For some odd reason he wants to start a new life in Storybrooke, so Wonderland must really be horrible.
A small thing: when we first meet the Knave of Hearts he visits Granny’s Diner in Storybrooke. There is a small cameo by Grumpy the dwarf and he is with a waitress the isn’t Ruby. It’s a girl named Ashley instead.
Another thing: The Knave of Hearts is in present-day Storybrooke, when the White Rabbit asks him to help save Alice, but Alice is in Victorian England, which means that the White Rabbit can open portals through time. Why don’t they just ask him to open a portal to a time before the Red Queen pushes Cyrus off a cliff, so that they can save him? Also, why do they have to leave right away to save Alice? Can’t they take some time to prepare before they travel back through time? When you can time travel, you have all the time in the world! I think that the writers just wanted a Storybrooke cameo and didn’t think things through. Time travel always screws stories up.
Is there an Uncanny Valley for animals?
The White Rabbit
The White Rabbit is a nervous, cowardly little guy. He is working for the Red Queen for reasons as of yet unknown to us. Although, he may have reason to be angry at Alice. She kidnapped him to use as proof the Wonderland exists. We never see how he escapes from her and he obviously didn’t come back with her to the real world, because no one believes her and thinks she’s insane.
Tasty!
The Cheshire Cat
The Cheshire Cat is hungry all the time. Alice says that he looks different than before, which suggests that he has become twisted by evil magic. I predict the he shall become uncursed and also an ally.
Evil gets the best clothing!
The Red Queen
The Red Queen is evil and she wears pretty dresses. We pretty much know nothing else about her at this point. She has some sort of beef with Alice that will probably be revealed in a flashback.
No there’s some bad blue screen!
Jafar
Jafar is evil and he has a sweet-looking snake cane. He wants the three wishes that Cyrus gave to Alice.
Wishes in this universe are actual physical objects that look like jewels and can be traded to other people or stolen. We don’t know what Jafar wants to wish for. Wishes always come with a catch though, so is it really a good idea for him to be seeking them out?
How did characters from Agrabah get to Wonderland? Mysteries!
Tweedle #1?Tweedle #2?
Here is a thing that bugs me. The credits mention “Tweedle #1” and “Tweedle #2”. Did the mean “Tweedledee” and “Tweedledum”, or did the mean “Thing 1” and “Thing 2”?
I’m feeling a bit janky, so alls you’re getting this week is my weird, long and rambling notes on this episode.
TEAMWORK!
Rumpelstiltskin removes his Shadow and gives it the Dark One’s dagger for safekeeping. The Shadows are separate, autonomous beings from their casters (people that cast shadows?) I wonder if a shadow could betray it’s caster? Greg’s shadow better not jump back inside of him and bring him back to life. Weird, up until this point, Shadows were removed from inside people, but Rumpelstiltskin casts his Shadow onto a wall and cuts it off from his feet. (Don’t tell the writers that more that one light source can cause a person to cast multiple shadows.)
Hook and Charming are having a pissing match. This is a productive use of their energy.
Neverland is evil. EVIL! Everything is cursed, poisonous or annoying. EVIL!
The magic mirror/genie is back.
A rehash, yet again, in a flashback, of the old feud between Regina and the Charmings. She gives them an ultimatum, yet again, and, yet again, they find a way to weasel out of it. This show has to remind us every few episodes that the EVIL QUEEN is evil, or else we might forget.
Peter Pan totally pulls a “I like a girl with spirit!” with Emma and it is really, really gross.
Emma needs to admit to herself that she’s fairy tale Jesus. Why has fairy tale God forsaken her?
Ugh. They’re bickering again. Didn’t that thing with the mermaids teach them about teamwork? Why have they forgotten already?
DEER SIGHTING!
What’s up with that deer in the background? I bet that deer is an evil spy. I saw an evil look in that devilish deer’s eye. Or, it’s Bambi.
Don’t spinning wheels usually have a pedal? Why is Rumpelstiltskin always turning it with his hands? When are we going to get the flashback where Aurora pricks her finger on Rumpelstiltskin’s spindle? Rumpelstiltskin must be involved in everybody’s backstory.
Belle can astral project or something. Or, she’s an illusion. Rumpelstiltskin needs to see a therapist. Rumpelstiltskin has daddy issues. Quickly, everyone start pitching your wild theories as to who Rumpelstiltskin’s father could be! My bet is that Rumpelstiltskin’s father is Merlin, who had to leave because he was aging backwards. Eventually, when Merlin became boy-aged, he realized that only had a few more years left before he would die, so he travelled to Neverland, where he would stop aging (or youngening), and became PETER PAN!
Snow White’s wig looks like it’s been farted upon by hobos.
The Enchanted Forest is really small. You can get anywhere in less than a half day’s ride.
Captain Hook and Prince Charming are in love with each other now.
How did Felix get Rumpelstiltskin’s old doll anyhow?
Excalibur? REALLY? Heh. Remember that time that Lancelot died offscreen? Um. Snow White can wield Excalibur? She’s “The Once and Future King”? Her name isn’t Arthur! HARUMPH.
Peter Pan is wearing Henry’s clothing. Henry is naked somewhere.
There’s a fight, but none of the stupid kids die. HARUMPH.
Captain Hook alludes to having done something horrible to Rufio in the past. I’m going to bet that they deviate from the storyline of the movie Hook and actually have the bad thing be something other that killing Rufio. Rufio will probably return as yet another character looking for revenge.
Adoption is evil. EVIL!
Oh, good, it’s a fake Excalibur. She just needed to think it was Excalibur, so that she would believe in herself. Incidentally, “Mudd’s Women” is a cruddy episode of Star Trek.
Rumpelstiltskin takes Snow White’s Mother’s necklace. This will probably be an important plot point later.
It’s implied that a fairy, possibly Tinker Bell, is messing with Rumpelstiltskin. YAY! More characters!
Prince Charming is poisoned!
That deer is my new favourite character. (I hope it’s Bambi!)
SPOILER ALERT! AREN’T THESE SPOILERS ALERTS GETTING ANNOYING!? SPOILER ALERT!
Well, kiddies, here we go again for a third season…
I’d say this episode was mostly exposition, if the word “exposition” meant explaining things in the vaguest way possible, presumably, so that they can stretch out the revelation of important plot points over as many episodes as possible. The ole soap opera style long con, is what we’ve got on our hands here.
Now, be a good Spartan and leave him to die of exposure in the wilderness.
A the beginning of the show, we get a flashback to Emma giving birth to Henry and then giving him up. During the birth, her magic cause an electrical disturbance and makes the lights flash, and nobody notices or cares. Don’t ever send me to that hospital. They don’t care if a power surge knock the life-sustaining equipment out.
Emma finally calls attention to the fact that her mother, Mary Margaret, is the same age as her and doesn’t really have that much wisdom to impart. Also, that her whole “Happily Ever After” shtick is useless and annoying.
The clothes make the man.
Rumpelstiltskin changes into his old Enchanted Forest clothes. Where did Rumpelstiltskin get his old clothes from? Were they on the boat? Why did Captain Hook have Rumpelstiltskin’s clothing on his boat? I bet Captain Hook kept the Rumpelstiltskin’s clothes in his bunk and sniffed them during his alone time. Or… Rumpelstiltskin just magiced the clothing to the boat… Whatever.
Anyway, everybody on the boat is bickering and not working well together already and it’s a bit annoying how quickly the alliance of good and evil has started breaking down.
Soooo… Captain Hook was Baelfire surrogate father for awhile and now he’s crushing on Emma, Baelfire’s girlfriend. This is going to get awkward fast.
Marshmallows anyone?
Greg and Tamara take Henry on a sweet camping trip, the kind his mom and dad never had the time for.
It turns out that Greg and Tamara don’t know who they’re working for and they don’t know why they’re doing what they’re doing what they’re doing. They just know that they needed to kidnap Henry and bring him to Neverland and then, like, magic, which they HATE, will… er… stop or something. They know this because of FAITH. WHY DOESN’T ANYBODY ELSE HAVE FAITH LIKE THEY DO?
Greg and Tamara are big fat dummies.
This is Felix. I hate Felix.
Hey, it’s Felix and the Lost Boys, here to ruin everybody’s good time. They want Henry.
YOUR SOUL IS MINE!
Felix calls the scary Neverland shadow creature to pull Greg’s soul out of his body. Greg looks like he’s dead. I hope he is. He was annoying.
I’m not sure anymore whether or not the scary flying shadow is Peter Pan. It may be a completely separate character. Remember, in the original Peter Pan, Peter’s shadow kept running off, until Wendy sewed the shadow to Peter Pan. I think something like that may be happening here. Peter not being in control of his malevolent, soul-stealing shadow is a little scary.
YAY!
And, Tamara get’s shot in the back with and arrow and there is much rejoicing. She doesn’t die though. Rumpelstiltskin comes by later and crushes her heart into dust, so that was good.
Free of Greg and Tamara, Henry runs into the woods to escape The Lost Boys.
Just what we needed, another KID!
So, Jojen Reed finally meets Bran Stark in the forest and explains how their fathers were great allies during Robert’s Rebellion. Er… I mean… Some blond kid saves Henry from the mean upperclassmen that were chasing him.
Remember these guys?
Mulan, Aura and Prince Philip treat Neal’s wounds and, for some strange reason, put him on Aurora’s sleeping curse bed. Why would they do that? It’s just weird. Put the poor guy on a proper bed, jeez.
Hey, Prince Philip’s soul is back in his body! They never showed us how Prince Philip’s soul was returned to his body. I SMELL A FLASHBACK EPISODE COMING UP!
They keep asking Neal about Earth and technology and stuff, and being all like “Your world frightens and confuses me”. Weird that they didn’t really do that when they were hanging out with Emma.
Anyhoo, I predict many, many episodes of wandering around the forest and not really doing much for these brave adventurers.
SPARKLY!
So, back to the boat, which is taking forever to reach the shores of Neverland, and evil mermaids start hitting the boat with their tails. Apparently, they’re really strong, because they actually start causing damage.
David straight-up starts firing a canon at the mermaids and it is ridiculous. He’s trying to murder sentient creatures without talking to them first. Maybe attacking the boat was all a big misunderstanding! We’ll never know, because attempting to explode them was his first choice of action.
Grrrrrrrr…
They capture one of the mermaids for some reason and she is pissed. She uses a magic conch shell to conjure a typhoon. I think Link from The Legend of Zelda had one of those.
Regina tells David to “Flay the bitch!”
FLAY THE BITCH? Holy Hell! I thought this was a family program!
Anyway, it turns out that the typhoon is fuelled by interpersonal discord and it just gets worse and worse as the people on the boat keep bickering and punching eachother in the face. Emma figures out that they need to start working together to stop the typhoon. She trows herself of the boat, so that they have to work together to save her. Emma is an idiot.
I think that the mermaid was really a magical angel, sent to our heroes to teach them the value of friendship and teamwork.
*SPOILERS* I already know from previews that Ariel is going to show up this season and this isn’t here. I wonder if this is actually Ursula? She can use a bit of magic like Ursula at least.
THIS ROBIN HOOD IS AN IMPOSTER
Back to the Enchanted Forest. Remember all the junk last season about nothing being left of the Enchanted Forest after the curse but a void? Complete bunk! Even Rumpelstiltskin’s castle is still there! So, Neal goes to his father’s castle to try and find a magic trinket or dealy that would open up a portal to return to Emma.
Robin Hood, played by a new actor, is there, because he likes touching other people’s stuff. Maid Marion is nowhere to be found.
I hope we have a situation where it’s The Merry Men VS The Lost Boys. I hope there isn’t anything, like, through weird time travel shenanigans, that The Lost Boys become The Merry Men. That would be silly.
THUNDERPANTS!
So, blondy has some magic fairy dust, but it only works if you truly believe it will work. Henry will believe anything that you tell hi, so of course Henry can use the dust to fly.
It turns out that the blond kid is Peter Pan and he was being all tricksy and stuff with Henry to test his belief. It turn out that Henry has “The Heart of the Truest Believer”. What does The Heart of the Truest Believer do? I bet that we’ll have to wait many, many episodes to find out. Also, how did Peter Pan find out about Henry and the he may have The Heart of the Truest Believer? There better not be a prophecy involved here. (There probably is.)
Also, it turns out that Peter Pan was the one giving Greg and Tamara their orders this whole time, in order to trick them into bringing Henry to him. But how? Neither he or his lost boys could contact them directly because they hate magic. Also, Peter Pan would have had to have a way to contact people on other worlds. If he could do that, why didn’t he just contact Henry directly, trick him into coming to Neverland and cut out the middleman? Greg and Tamara are so fanatical about their hate for magic, what if they just decided to deviate from Pan’s plan and kill all the magical creatures, Henry included? How did Peter Pan know that the citizen of Storybrooke were growing magic beans and that Greg and Tamara would be able to obtain one of the beans to get to Neverland? We see that he can send his shadow to Earth to steal child. Why didn’t he just have the shadow steal Henry? None of it makes any sense.
SPOILER ALERT! Well, you really should know all of this by now, but I’m warning you anyway.
Well, it’s almost time for season 3 of Once Upon a Time. Now would be a really good time for you to catch up on any episodes you missed from season 2. Luckily I have made you with handy list with be plot points!
All episode titles link to posts that I wrote about that episode and character names link to the tag archive for that character.
Regina is mark for death-by-wraith by Rumpelstiltskin and, in an attempt to save her, Emma and Snow White are transported to the Enchanted Forest by Jefferson’s hat, which is subsequently destroyed barring them from returning.
Henry no longer trusts his adoptive mother, Regina, and goes to live with his grandfather, David.
In the past Enchanted Forest, Snow White is kidnapped by King George who poisons her so that she cannot have a child.
King George’s men also shoot Prince Charming’s mother with a poison arrow.
Snow White, Lancelot, Prince Charming and his mother all travel Lake Nostos for a cure, but there is only enough water left there to heal one person.
Prince Charming’s mother pretends to drink the healing water and Lancelot secretly puts the healing water in Snow White’s goblet.
Prince Charming’s mother sacrifices her life to cure Snow White and lives just long enough to see Snow White and Prince Charming get married, which was her dearest wish.
In the present-day Enchanted Forest, Snow White and Emma are trapped in a prison with Cora.
Lancelot, having recognized Snow White from their past dealing frees them from the prison and they go off in search of the wardrobe that brought Emma to our world.
They find the wardrobe, but it turns out that Lancelot was really Cora in disguise and they have to destroy the wardrobe to keep her from getting her hands on it.
In Storybrooke, Jefferson is reunited with his daughter and David has trouble dealing with his new job of taking care of Henry.
In Storybrooke, Moe attempts to get his daughter, Belle, over the townline to erase her memories of her love for Rumpelstiltskin, but Rumpelstiltskin saves her at the last second.
In the present-day Enchanted Forest, Cora shows a bottle of the ashes from the wardrobe to Captain Hook and they start hatching a plan to get to Storybrooke.
In the past Enchanted Forest, Rumpelstiltskin stages an elaborate ruse wherein Regina is made to think that Dr. Frankenstein could possibly bring Daniel back to life with one of Regina’s stolen hearts, but Frankenstein secretly doesn’t even try and keeps the magical heart for his own purposes. Regina, her heart broken and darkened, is then open to learning dark magic from Rumpelstiltskin.
In Storybrooke, Dr. Frankenstein steals one of the hearts from Regina’s vault and uses to resurrect Daniel for real this time, but Daniel comes back as a monster.
In the present-day Enchanted Forest, Snow White, Emma, Mulan and Aurora meet Captian Hook who tells them that he may know a way back to Storybrooke, a magical compass at the top of a giant beanstalk.
In the past, Emma is a thief and she falls in love with a fellow thief named “Neal Cassidy“.
August Booth meets alone with Neal and convinces him that Emma, in order to fulfill her special destiny, must be rehabilitated from her life of crime and he convinces Neal to rat Emma out for a crime that she didn’t commit so that she will be thrown in jail, because jail will straighten her out or something.
In the present-day Enchanted Forest, Emma climbs the the beanstalk, retrieves the magic compass, decides to spare the giant’s life and leaves Captain Hook chained up in the giant’s castle.
Aurora has been having nightmares ever since she was woken from the sleeping curse.
Henry is also having nightmares after coming out of his sleeping curse
In the past Enchanted Forest, while on the run from the Evil Queen, Red gets split up from Snow White and runs into her mother who Granny said was dead.
Red’s mother and her wolf pack teach Red how to control her wolf form.
Snow White finds Red, but accidentally leads some of the Evil Queen’s men to the wolves’ lair and they kill one of the pack.
Red’s mother believes the death is Snow White’s fault and wants Red to kill her. Red and her mother fight instead and the mother is accidentally killed in the process.
In Storybrooke, the dwarves have found fairy dust and they think that it can be used to fix Jefferson’s hat.
Albert Spencer frames Ruby for the murder of Billy and uses the the resultant distraction to steal Jefferson’s hat and destroy it.
In the past Enchanted Forest, Regina disguises herself as a peasant so that she can find out what people really think about her.
In the present Storybrooke, Regina ventures into the catacombs with Hook to retrieve a trigger that will annihilate Storybrooke. Regina plans to escape the annihilation with Henry by using a magic bean she stole.
After falling through the portal that his father, Rumpelstilskin, refused to travel through, Baelfire is transported to 19th century England, where he is taken in by Wendy Darling and her family.
The Darling children are visited every night by a malevolent shadow creature. Baelfire allows himself to be taken by this creature to Neverland so that the Darling children would be spared by it.
Neal finds out that Tamara is evil and plotting Storybrooke’s destruction.
Tamara shoots Neal and he falls into a portal she created with magic bean.
Tamara and Greg activate the Storybrooke destroying dealy.
It is revealed that Hook acted as sort of surrogate father to Baelfire during his time in Neverland, until Baelfire discovered Hook’s past with his mother, Milah, and Baelfire ends up hating him.
Mother Superior creates a magic potion that can restore people’s memories.
Neal is not dead as previously believed. He is really transported to the Enchanted Forest and found by Mulan and Aurora.
Emma and Regina combine their magic powers to save Storybrooke from annihilation.
BAELFIRE HAS THREE DADS NOW! RUMPELSTILTSKIN, MR. DARLING AND CAPTAIN HOOK! WHAT A LUCKY BOY!
HOW IS CAPTAIN HOOK EVEN A PIRATE? WE NEVER SEE HIM PILLAGING EVER. DOES THE EYELINER MAKE HIM A PIRATE?
THEY MENTION CURSED MERMAIDS A WHOLE BUNCH AND WE NEVER SEE THEM. I FEEL CHEATED.
MORTAL ENEMIES WORKING TOGETHER FOR THE COMMON GOOD!
THE SELF-DESTRUCT BUTTON FOR STORYBROOKE IS UNSTOPPABLE… NOT! IT ONLY NEEDS TWO MAGIC USERS TO STOP IT. EMMA HAS BARELY HAD ANY PRACTICE AT USING MAGIC AND THEY STILL STOPPED IT. ABSOLUTELY NO ONE DIED AND THE DESTRUCTION WAS MINIMAL. WEREN’T THEY ADVERTISING THAT THE SEASON FINALE WAS GOING TO BE DEVASTATING?
DON’T WORRY, HE’LL ANNOY THEM SO MUCH THEY’LL PAY TO GET RID OF HIM
SOMEHOW GREG AND TAMARA MANAGE TO BE COMPLETELY SILENT AND INVISIBLE TO KIDNAP HENRY WHEN HE WAS RIGHT BESIDE HIS MOMS AND HIS GRANDPARENTS. THEY ALSO GAIN A LARGE LEAD ON THEM DESPITE ONLY JOG-WALKING AWAY.
GREG AND TAMARA ARE, YET AGAIN, EXTREMELY VAGUE ABOUT WHO THEY ARE WORKING FOR AND WHAT EXACTLY THEIR CAUSE IS. I SERIOUSLY BELIEVE THAT THE WRITERS THEMSELVES DON’T KNOW AND THEY’RE USING VAGUENESS TO BUY THEMSELVES SOME TIME. THEY KEEP USING WORDS LIKE “HOLY” AND “SACRED”, SO I’M JUST GOING TO PRETEND THAT THEY’RE WORKING FOR THE POPE, UNTIL I’M TOLD OTHERWISE.
THEY’RE ON A BOAT!
EVERYBODY IS FRIENDS NOW! EMMA, REGINA, CAPTAIN HOOK, MARY MARGARET AND DAVID PUT ASIDE THEIR DIFFERENCES IN ORDER TO FORM AN ELITE TEAM AND GET HENRY BACK. THEY HATED EACHOTHER JUST FIVE MINUTES AGO, BUT WHO CARES? SHUT YOUR BUTT!
AAAAAANNNNDDDDDDD…IT LOOKS LIKE THE BIG BAD FOR NEXT SEASON IS GOING TO BE PETER PAN. THEY BETTER GET A MICHAEL JACKSON LOOKALIKE TO PLAY PETER PAN.
