SPOILER ALERT! EPISODE TWENTY OF THE SECOND SEASON OF ONCE UPON A TIME, IT’S A SECRET TO EVERYBODY!
This episode was all about how Regina is an insane, crazy idiot. I mean, I hardly even have the words to describe how stupid Regina is in this episode.
Regina goes to Rumpelstiltskin and asks him to shapeshift her into someone else so that she can hide in plain sight in order to get the jump on Snow White and kill her. He tells her that no one will recognize her and that she won’t be able to use magic while she is another form. He even shows her that she looks completely different in a mirror to drive the point home.
The next time we see Regina, she tries to use magic and have people obey her as their queen. Gah! Memory like a goldfish this one has.
Regina also doesn’t seem to get why killing thousands of people would make her evil, because something, something, SNOW WHITE. And we learn for the, like, millionth time that Regina can never be reformed, because we just didn’t understand it when they tried to drive that point home in all the previous episodes.
I don’t even know anymore. Please stop, Once Upon a Time, you’re hurting me.
…yadda yadda yadda…
Regina meets up with Captian Hook and they go to retrieve some magical MacGuffin out of the caverns beneath the library, because that cavern set was expensive, goddamit, and they have to justify the expenditure by using it at least once a season.
But, oh no! Maleficent is still alive, because magic, and Regina tosses Hook to her as a distraction. Also, Maleficent is now a lych or something of the like. I assume the actress that plays Maleficent, Kristine Bauer van Straten, is busy working on True Blood. Still, hope that Maleficent returns to human form this season, because I love Kristin Bauer van Straten. One day she will be my best friend.
When Regina returns to the surface with the MacGuffin, she learns that Captain Hook is in cahoots with Tamara and Greg Mendell. Tamara and Greg have powerful scientific powers and they gave Hook a special cuff filled with the “toughest metals and machinery known to man” to give to Regina. The cuff counteracts Regina’s magic powers and she is now helpless.
I really don’t like the whole “magic vs. science” thing. Magic is a completely fake, made-up thing, so, to counteract it, you need completely fake, made-up science. It usually just devolves into annoying techobabble vs. annoying magicbabble.
Well, kids, there’s only two more episodes left in this season. Let’s see if they can fix things in that small amount of time.