My Thoughts On: Once Upon a Time S03E03 “Quite a Common Fairy”

SPOILER ALERT! I’M HIGH ON ENERGY DRINKS! SPOILER ALERT!

In this episode, we learn the power of using toddlers as bait.

a screencap of robin hood (play be sean maguire) holding his son, roland (played by raphael alejandro)
Wholesome!

In the enchanted forest, Neal meets Robin Hood’s little son, Roland and hatches a plan to get to Neverland. It turns out that all you have to do is have a child say, “I believe” by a window and Peter Pan’s Shadow will come to take them away. Neal grabs the Shadow’s foot and away he goes to Neverland.

Incidentally, when discussing options to open portals to Neverland, Neal mentions ruby slippers, like the kind Dorothy had in MGM‘s version of The Wizard of Oz. It’s important to not tha tin the original L. Frank Baum story, that the shoes were actually silver, and that’s what they’d probably have to go with is they told any of The Wizard of Oz story because of rights issues.

a screencap of felix (played by parker croft) with an apple on his head
Miss the apple on purpose! SHOOT HIM IN THE FACE!

In the camp of the Lost Boys, Peter Pan crows like a rooster to wake Henry up. Well, he tried to crow like a rooster. I don’t think that it sounded anything like a rooster. It was more like some sort of weird cough.

Anyway, Peter Pan wants to turn our little Henry into a little bastard, so he orders Henry to try and shoot an apple off of Felix’s head with a poison arrow. You know, because just accidentally shooting Felix in the face wouldn’t enough. He’d have to accidentally poison Felix in the face as well. Well, Henry just turned right around and shot the arrow at Peter Pan, who used his mad ninja skills to catch it in midair.

Henry, a young child, tried to murder another child in cold blood. Looks like Henry is taking after Regina.

a screencap of tinke bell (played by rose mciver) flying surrounded by green pixie dust
I don’t believe in fairies!

Meanwhile, the bickering alliance of Heroes and Villains is having trouble finding Peter Pan’s camp, so they decide try and find Tinker Bell, because she might have magic pixie dust, which is, like, way better than fairy dust.

Yes, in this universe, pixie dust and fairy dust are two different things, but they’re both made by the fairies. That’s not confusing at all.

Regina doesn’t like the idea of finding Tinker Bell, though. She and Tinker Bell have a past.

a screencap of regina's mysterious soulmate
WHO COULD THIS BE!?

It turns out that in the past, Tinker Bell put her ass on the line to steal some pixie dust from the Blue Fairy that could be used to find Regina a new soul mate. Unfortunately, after the pixie dust was used, Regina was too afraid to go after her new true love, a man with a lion tattoo, and the Blue Fairy stripped Tinker Bell of her wings for stealing the dust. Tinker Bell is quite rightly miffed that her sacrifice was for nothing.

I really don’t like the way that the Blue Fairy behaves in this episode. These events take place before Regina becomes the Evil Queen and yet the Blue Fairy refuses to give the pixie dust to her because her mother, Cora, was evil. How good is a fairy, if her heart is full of prejudice?

I hope there’s an upcoming episode where everyone claps and Tinker Bell regains her wings. Also, since Tinker Bell doesn’t have magic anymore, it couldn’t have been her that was messing with Rumpelstiltskin with his old doll, so who was it? Curious.

a screencap of the lion tatton on robin hood's arm
I assure you, this is Robin Hood’s arm.

In this episode, we almost find out f it’s Aurora or Philip that Mulan is in love with. Presumably, it’s Aurora, because that was who she was about to confess too, but, unfortunately, before Mulan can say anything, Aurora tells her that she’s pregnant with Philip’s baby. Mulan decides to do the honourable thing and keep her mouth shut and also run away with Robin Hood’s band of Merry Men, as one does when their heart is broken.

Anyway, big surprise! It’s Robin Hood that has the lion tattoo and is, therefore, Regina’s soulmate. I find it interesting that it’s a lion. Does this mean that Robin Hood is secretly King Richard the Lionheart?

All that Regina knows about her soulmate is that he has a lion tattoo. Want to bet that some evildoer gets a lion tattoo to trick her?

a screencap of tinker bell's underwear (played by rose mciver's stunt butt?)
I see London! I see France!

Well, that’s all for this week. Here, have a picture of Tinker Bell’s underpants.

My Thoughts On: Once Upon a Time S03E02 “Lost Girl”

SPOILER DERP! SPOILER DERP!

I’m feeling a bit janky, so alls you’re getting this week is my weird, long and rambling notes on this episode.

a screencap of captain hook (played by Colin O'Donoghue), emma (played by Jennifer Morrison), regina (played by Lana Parrilla), mary margaret (played by Ginnifer Goodwin) and David (played by Josh Dallas) standing around looking all determined and junk
TEAMWORK!

Rumpelstiltskin removes his Shadow and gives it the Dark One’s dagger for safekeeping. The Shadows are separate, autonomous beings from their casters (people that cast shadows?) I wonder if a shadow could betray it’s caster? Greg’s shadow better not jump back inside of him and bring him back to life. Weird, up until this point, Shadows were removed from inside people, but Rumpelstiltskin casts his Shadow onto a wall and cuts it off from his feet. (Don’t tell the writers that more that one light source can cause a person to cast multiple shadows.)

Hook and Charming are having a pissing match. This is a productive use of their energy.

Neverland is evil. EVIL! Everything is cursed, poisonous or annoying. EVIL!

The magic mirror/genie is back.

A rehash, yet again, in a flashback, of the old feud between Regina and the Charmings. She gives them an ultimatum, yet again, and, yet again, they find a way to weasel out of it. This show has to remind us every few episodes that the EVIL QUEEN is evil, or else we might forget.

Peter Pan totally pulls a “I like a girl with spirit!” with Emma and it is really, really gross.

Emma needs to admit to herself that she’s fairy tale Jesus. Why has fairy tale God forsaken her?

Ugh. They’re bickering again. Didn’t that thing with the mermaids teach them about teamwork? Why have they forgotten already?

a screencap of Snow White (played by Ginnifer Goodwin) with a deer behind her in the background
DEER SIGHTING!

What’s up with that deer in the background? I bet that deer is an evil spy. I saw an evil look in that devilish deer’s eye. Or, it’s Bambi.

Don’t spinning wheels usually have a pedal? Why is Rumpelstiltskin always turning it with his hands? When are we going to get the flashback where Aurora pricks her finger on Rumpelstiltskin’s spindle? Rumpelstiltskin must be involved in everybody’s backstory.

Belle can astral project or something. Or, she’s an illusion. Rumpelstiltskin needs to see a therapist. Rumpelstiltskin has daddy issues. Quickly, everyone start pitching your wild theories as to who Rumpelstiltskin’s father could be! My bet is that Rumpelstiltskin’s father is Merlin, who had to leave because he was aging backwards. Eventually, when Merlin became boy-aged, he realized that only had a few more years left before he would die, so he travelled to Neverland, where he would stop aging (or youngening), and became PETER PAN!

Snow White’s wig looks like it’s been farted upon by hobos.

The Enchanted Forest is really small. You can get anywhere in less than a half day’s ride.

Captain Hook and Prince Charming are in love with each other now.

How did Felix get Rumpelstiltskin’s old doll anyhow?

Excalibur? REALLY? Heh. Remember that time that Lancelot died offscreen? Um. Snow White can wield Excalibur? She’s “The Once and Future King”? Her name isn’t Arthur! HARUMPH.

Peter Pan is wearing Henry’s clothing. Henry is naked somewhere.

There’s a fight, but none of the stupid kids die. HARUMPH.

Captain Hook alludes to having done something horrible to Rufio in the past. I’m going to bet that they deviate from the storyline of the movie Hook and actually have the bad thing be something other that killing Rufio. Rufio will probably return as yet another character looking for revenge.

Adoption is evil. EVIL!

Oh, good, it’s a fake Excalibur. She just needed to think it was Excalibur, so that she would believe in herself. Incidentally, “Mudd’s Women” is a cruddy episode of Star Trek.

Rumpelstiltskin takes Snow White’s Mother’s necklace. This will probably be an important plot point later.

It’s implied that a fairy, possibly Tinker Bell, is messing with Rumpelstiltskin. YAY! More characters!

Prince Charming is poisoned!

That deer is my new favourite character. (I hope it’s Bambi!)