My Thoughts On: Once Upon a Time S03E03 “Quite a Common Fairy”

SPOILER ALERT! I’M HIGH ON ENERGY DRINKS! SPOILER ALERT!

In this episode, we learn the power of using toddlers as bait.

a screencap of robin hood (play be sean maguire) holding his son, roland (played by raphael alejandro)
Wholesome!

In the enchanted forest, Neal meets Robin Hood’s little son, Roland and hatches a plan to get to Neverland. It turns out that all you have to do is have a child say, “I believe” by a window and Peter Pan’s Shadow will come to take them away. Neal grabs the Shadow’s foot and away he goes to Neverland.

Incidentally, when discussing options to open portals to Neverland, Neal mentions ruby slippers, like the kind Dorothy had in MGM‘s version of The Wizard of Oz. It’s important to not tha tin the original L. Frank Baum story, that the shoes were actually silver, and that’s what they’d probably have to go with is they told any of The Wizard of Oz story because of rights issues.

a screencap of felix (played by parker croft) with an apple on his head
Miss the apple on purpose! SHOOT HIM IN THE FACE!

In the camp of the Lost Boys, Peter Pan crows like a rooster to wake Henry up. Well, he tried to crow like a rooster. I don’t think that it sounded anything like a rooster. It was more like some sort of weird cough.

Anyway, Peter Pan wants to turn our little Henry into a little bastard, so he orders Henry to try and shoot an apple off of Felix’s head with a poison arrow. You know, because just accidentally shooting Felix in the face wouldn’t enough. He’d have to accidentally poison Felix in the face as well. Well, Henry just turned right around and shot the arrow at Peter Pan, who used his mad ninja skills to catch it in midair.

Henry, a young child, tried to murder another child in cold blood. Looks like Henry is taking after Regina.

a screencap of tinke bell (played by rose mciver) flying surrounded by green pixie dust
I don’t believe in fairies!

Meanwhile, the bickering alliance of Heroes and Villains is having trouble finding Peter Pan’s camp, so they decide try and find Tinker Bell, because she might have magic pixie dust, which is, like, way better than fairy dust.

Yes, in this universe, pixie dust and fairy dust are two different things, but they’re both made by the fairies. That’s not confusing at all.

Regina doesn’t like the idea of finding Tinker Bell, though. She and Tinker Bell have a past.

a screencap of regina's mysterious soulmate
WHO COULD THIS BE!?

It turns out that in the past, Tinker Bell put her ass on the line to steal some pixie dust from the Blue Fairy that could be used to find Regina a new soul mate. Unfortunately, after the pixie dust was used, Regina was too afraid to go after her new true love, a man with a lion tattoo, and the Blue Fairy stripped Tinker Bell of her wings for stealing the dust. Tinker Bell is quite rightly miffed that her sacrifice was for nothing.

I really don’t like the way that the Blue Fairy behaves in this episode. These events take place before Regina becomes the Evil Queen and yet the Blue Fairy refuses to give the pixie dust to her because her mother, Cora, was evil. How good is a fairy, if her heart is full of prejudice?

I hope there’s an upcoming episode where everyone claps and Tinker Bell regains her wings. Also, since Tinker Bell doesn’t have magic anymore, it couldn’t have been her that was messing with Rumpelstiltskin with his old doll, so who was it? Curious.

a screencap of the lion tatton on robin hood's arm
I assure you, this is Robin Hood’s arm.

In this episode, we almost find out f it’s Aurora or Philip that Mulan is in love with. Presumably, it’s Aurora, because that was who she was about to confess too, but, unfortunately, before Mulan can say anything, Aurora tells her that she’s pregnant with Philip’s baby. Mulan decides to do the honourable thing and keep her mouth shut and also run away with Robin Hood’s band of Merry Men, as one does when their heart is broken.

Anyway, big surprise! It’s Robin Hood that has the lion tattoo and is, therefore, Regina’s soulmate. I find it interesting that it’s a lion. Does this mean that Robin Hood is secretly King Richard the Lionheart?

All that Regina knows about her soulmate is that he has a lion tattoo. Want to bet that some evildoer gets a lion tattoo to trick her?

a screencap of tinker bell's underwear (played by rose mciver's stunt butt?)
I see London! I see France!

Well, that’s all for this week. Here, have a picture of Tinker Bell’s underpants.

My Thoughts On: Once Upon a Time S03E01 “The Heart of the Truest Believer”

SPOILER ALERT! AREN’T THESE SPOILERS ALERTS GETTING ANNOYING!? SPOILER ALERT!

Well, kiddies, here we go again for a third season…

I’d say this episode was mostly exposition, if the word “exposition” meant explaining things in the vaguest way possible, presumably, so that they can stretch out the revelation of important plot points over as many episodes as possible. The ole soap opera style long con, is what we’ve got on our hands here.

a screencap of a doctor holding newborn henry mills
Now, be a good Spartan and leave him to die of exposure in the wilderness.

A the beginning of the show, we get a flashback to Emma giving birth to Henry and then giving him up. During the birth, her magic cause an electrical disturbance and makes the lights flash, and nobody notices or cares. Don’t ever send me to that hospital. They don’t care if a power surge knock the life-sustaining equipment out.

Emma finally calls attention to the fact that her mother, Mary Margaret,  is the same age as her and doesn’t really have that much wisdom to impart. Also, that her whole “Happily Ever After” shtick is useless and annoying.

a screencap of rumpelstiltskin (played by robert carlyle) wearing his old enchanted forest clothes
The clothes make the man.

Rumpelstiltskin changes into his old Enchanted Forest clothes. Where did Rumpelstiltskin get his old clothes from? Were they on the boat? Why did Captain Hook have Rumpelstiltskin’s clothing on his boat? I bet Captain Hook kept the Rumpelstiltskin’s clothes in his bunk and sniffed them during his alone time. Or… Rumpelstiltskin just magiced the clothing to the boat… Whatever.

Anyway, everybody on the boat is bickering and not working well together already and it’s a bit annoying how quickly the alliance of good and evil has started breaking down.

Soooo… Captain Hook was Baelfire surrogate father for awhile and now he’s crushing on Emma, Baelfire’s girlfriend. This is going to get awkward fast.

a screencap of greg mendell (played by ethan embry) starting a fire while tamara (played by sonequa martin-green) and henry (played by jared s. gilmore) look on
Marshmallows anyone?

Greg and Tamara take Henry on a sweet camping trip, the kind his mom and dad never had the time for.

It turns out that Greg and Tamara don’t know who they’re working for and they don’t know why they’re doing what they’re doing what they’re doing. They just know that they needed to kidnap Henry and bring him to Neverland and then, like, magic, which they HATE, will… er… stop or something. They know this because of FAITH. WHY DOESN’T ANYBODY ELSE HAVE FAITH LIKE THEY DO?

Greg and Tamara are big fat dummies.

a screen cap of lost boy felix (played by paker croft)
This is Felix. I hate Felix.

Hey, it’s Felix and the Lost Boys, here to ruin everybody’s good time. They want Henry.

a screencap of greg mendell (played by ethan emby) having his shadow removed by the evil shadow peter pan
YOUR SOUL IS MINE!

Felix calls the scary Neverland shadow creature to pull Greg’s soul out of his body. Greg looks like he’s dead. I hope he is. He was annoying.

I’m not sure anymore whether or not the scary flying shadow is Peter Pan. It may be a completely separate character. Remember, in the original Peter Pan, Peter’s shadow kept running off, until Wendy sewed the shadow to Peter Pan. I think something like that may be happening here. Peter not being in control of his malevolent, soul-stealing shadow is a little scary.

a screencap of tamara (played by sonequa martin-green) getting hit in the back by an arrow
YAY!

And, Tamara get’s shot in the back with and arrow and there is much rejoicing. She doesn’t die though. Rumpelstiltskin comes by later and crushes her heart into dust, so that was good.

Free of Greg and Tamara, Henry runs into the woods to escape The Lost Boys.

a screencap of henry mills (played by jared s. gilmore) meeting a blond boy (played by robbie kay)
Just what we needed, another KID!

So, Jojen Reed finally meets Bran Stark in the forest and explains how their fathers were great allies during Robert’s Rebellion. Er… I mean… Some blond kid saves Henry from the mean upperclassmen that were chasing him.

a screencap of mulan (played by jamie chung), aurora (played by sarah bolger) and prince philip (played by julia morris) rushing to the side of baelfire (played by michael raymond-james)
Remember these guys?

Mulan, Aura and Prince Philip treat Neal’s wounds and, for some strange reason, put him on Aurora’s sleeping curse bed. Why would they do that? It’s just weird. Put the poor guy on a proper bed, jeez.

Hey, Prince Philip’s soul is back in his body! They never showed us how Prince Philip’s soul was returned to his body. I SMELL A FLASHBACK EPISODE COMING UP!

They keep asking Neal about Earth and technology and stuff, and being all like “Your world frightens and confuses me”. Weird that they didn’t really do that when they were hanging out with Emma.

Anyhoo, I predict many, many episodes of wandering around the forest and not really doing much for these brave adventurers.

a screencap of some evil mermaids
SPARKLY!

So, back to the boat, which is taking forever to reach the shores of Neverland, and evil mermaids start hitting the boat with their tails. Apparently, they’re really strong, because they actually start causing damage.

David straight-up starts firing a canon at the mermaids and it is ridiculous. He’s trying to murder sentient creatures without talking to them first. Maybe attacking the boat was all a big misunderstanding! We’ll never know, because attempting to explode them was his first choice of action.

a screencap of an evil mermaid (played by natasha wilson)
Grrrrrrrr…

They capture one of the mermaids for some reason and she is pissed. She uses a magic conch shell to conjure a  typhoon. I think Link from The Legend of Zelda had one of those.

Regina tells David to “Flay the bitch!”

FLAY THE BITCH? Holy Hell! I thought this was a family program!

Anyway, it turns out that the typhoon is fuelled by interpersonal discord and it just gets worse and worse as the people on the boat keep bickering and punching eachother in the face. Emma figures out that they need to start working together to stop the typhoon. She trows herself of the boat, so that they have to work together to save her. Emma is an idiot.

I think that the mermaid was really a magical angel, sent to our heroes to teach them the value of friendship and teamwork.

*SPOILERS* I already know from previews that Ariel is going to show up this season and this isn’t here. I wonder if this is actually Ursula? She can use a bit of magic like Ursula at least.

a screencap of robin hood (played by sean maguire)
THIS ROBIN HOOD IS AN IMPOSTER

Back to the Enchanted Forest. Remember all the junk last season about nothing being left of the Enchanted Forest after the curse but a void? Complete bunk! Even Rumpelstiltskin’s castle is still there! So, Neal goes to his father’s castle to try and find a magic trinket or dealy that would open up a portal to return to Emma.

Robin Hood, played by a new actor, is there, because he likes touching other people’s stuff. Maid Marion is nowhere to be found.

I hope we have a situation where it’s The Merry Men VS The Lost Boys. I hope there isn’t anything, like, through weird time travel shenanigans, that The Lost Boys become The Merry Men. That would be silly.

a screencap of henry (played by jared s. gilmore) and peter pan (played by robbie kay) flying through the air trailing pixie dust
THUNDERPANTS!

So, blondy has some magic fairy dust, but it only works if you truly believe it will work. Henry will believe anything that you tell hi, so of course Henry can use the dust to fly.

It turns out that the blond kid is Peter Pan and he was being all tricksy and stuff with Henry to test his belief. It turn out that Henry has “The Heart of the Truest Believer”. What does The Heart of the Truest Believer do? I bet that we’ll have to wait many, many episodes to find out. Also, how did Peter Pan find out about Henry and the he may have The Heart of the Truest Believer? There better not be a prophecy involved here. (There probably is.)

Also, it turns out that Peter Pan was the one giving Greg and Tamara their orders this whole time, in order to trick them into bringing Henry to him. But how? Neither he or his lost boys could contact them directly because they hate magic. Also, Peter Pan would have had to have a way to contact people on other worlds. If he could do that, why didn’t he just contact Henry directly, trick him into coming to Neverland and cut out the middleman? Greg and Tamara are so fanatical about their hate for magic, what if they just decided to deviate from Pan’s plan and kill all the magical creatures, Henry included? How did Peter Pan know that the citizen of Storybrooke were growing magic beans and that Greg and Tamara would be able to obtain one of the beans to get to Neverland? We see that he can send his shadow to Earth to steal child. Why didn’t he just have the shadow steal Henry? None of it makes any sense.

Bah. Whatever. See you next week.

Once Upon a Time Season 2 Catch Up

SPOILER ALERT! Well, you really should know all of this by now, but I’m warning you anyway.

Well, it’s almost time for season 3 of Once Upon a Time. Now would be a really good time for you to catch up on any episodes you missed from season 2. Luckily I have made you with handy list with be plot points!

All episode titles link to posts that I wrote about that episode and character names link to the tag archive for that character.

Table of Contents:

  1. Broken
  2. We Are Both
  3. Lady of the Lake
  4. The Crocodile
  5. The Doctor
  6. Tallahassee
  7. Child of the Moon
  8. Into the Deep
  9. Queen of Hearts
  10. The Cricket Game
  11. The Outsider
  12. In the Name of the Brother
  13. Tiny
  14. Manhattan
  15. The Queen is Dead
  16. The Miller’s Daughter
  17. Welcome to Storybrooke
  18. Selfless, Brave and True
  19. Lacey
  20. The Evil Queen
  21. Second Star to the Right
  22. And Straight On ‘Til Morning

S02E01 Broken

S02E02 We Are Both

  • The people of Storybrooke, having newly regained the memories of their past lives, must come to grips with essentially being two people at once.
  • Grumpy pushes Sneezy across the townline which makes Sneezy lose his fairy tale memories, leaving him with just his memories of being Mr. Clark.
  • David searches for a way to open a portal to the Enchanted Forest to retrieve Emma and Snow White.
  • In the past, Regina uses a magic looking glass that Rumpelstiltskin gave her to trap her mother, Cora, in Wonderland.
  • It is revealed that Rumpelstiltskin is the one that originally taught Regina how to use magic, specifically, dark magic.
  • Regina rediscovers how to use magic in Storybrooke, but changes her mind on using it to make Henry love her, because it would not be a real love.
  • Meanwhile, in the present-day Enchanted Forest, Mulan and Aurora have taken Emma and Snow White prisoner.

S02E03 Lady of the Lake

  • Sir Lancelot is introduced.
  • In the past Enchanted Forest, Snow White is kidnapped by King George who poisons her so that she cannot have a child.
  • King George’s men also shoot Prince Charming’s mother with a poison arrow.
  • Snow White, Lancelot, Prince Charming and his mother all travel Lake Nostos for a cure, but there is only enough water left there to heal one person.
  • Prince Charming’s mother pretends to drink the healing water and Lancelot secretly puts the healing water in Snow White’s goblet.
  • Prince Charming’s mother sacrifices her life to cure Snow White and lives just long enough to see Snow White and Prince Charming get married, which was her dearest wish.
  • In the present-day Enchanted Forest, Snow White and Emma are trapped in a prison with Cora.
  • Lancelot, having recognized Snow White from their past dealing frees them from the prison and they go off in search of the wardrobe that brought Emma to our world.
  • They find the wardrobe, but it turns out that Lancelot was really Cora in disguise and they have to destroy the wardrobe to keep her from getting her hands on it.
  • In Storybrooke, Jefferson is reunited with his daughter and David has trouble dealing with his new job of taking care of Henry.

S02E04 The Crocodile

  • This is the first appearance of Captain Hook, Smee and Rumpelstiltskin’s wife, Milah.
  • In the past Enchanted Forest, Milah ran off with the pirate, Killian Jones, and Rumpelstiltskin crushed Milah’s heart and cut off Killian’s hand in retaliation, making Killian into Captain Hook and Rumpelstiltskin into the crocodile (metaphorically?).
  • In Storybrooke, Moe attempts to get his daughter, Belle, over the townline to erase her memories of her love for Rumpelstiltskin, but Rumpelstiltskin saves her at the last second.
  • In the present-day Enchanted Forest, Cora shows a bottle of the ashes from the wardrobe to Captain Hook and they start hatching a plan to get to Storybrooke.

S02E05 The Doctor

S02E06 Tallahassee

  • This is the first appearance of Anton the giant.
  • In the past, Emma is a thief and she falls in love with a fellow thief named “Neal Cassidy“.
  • August Booth meets alone with Neal and convinces him that Emma, in order to fulfill her special destiny, must be rehabilitated from her life of crime and he convinces Neal to rat Emma out for a crime that she didn’t commit so that she will be thrown in jail, because jail will straighten her out or something.
  • Emma finds out that she is pregnant in jail.
  • In the present-day Enchanted Forest, Emma climbs the the beanstalk, retrieves the magic compass, decides to spare the giant’s life and leaves Captain Hook chained up in the giant’s castle.
  • Aurora has been having nightmares ever since she was woken from the sleeping curse.
  • Henry is also having nightmares after coming out of his sleeping curse

S02E07 Child of the Moon

  • In the past Enchanted Forest, while on the run from the Evil Queen, Red gets split up from Snow White and runs into her mother who Granny said was dead.
  • Red’s mother and her wolf pack teach Red how to control her wolf form.
  • Snow White finds Red, but accidentally leads some of the Evil Queen’s men to the wolves’ lair and they kill one of the pack.
  • Red’s mother believes the death is Snow White’s fault and wants Red to kill her. Red and her mother fight instead and the mother is accidentally killed in the process.
  • In Storybrooke, the dwarves have found fairy dust and they think that it can be used to fix Jefferson’s hat.
  • Albert Spencer frames Ruby for the murder of Billy and uses the the resultant distraction to steal Jefferson’s hat and destroy it.
  • Aurora and Henry meet in their nightmares.

S02E08 Into the Deep

  • In the present-day Enchanted Forest, Cora raises an undead army of the people that she stole hearts from.
  • Henry meets with Aurora in the nightmare zone.
  • David ends up trapped in the sleeping curse.

S02E09 Queen of Hearts

S02E10 The Cricket Game

S02E11 The Outsider

S02E12 In the Name of the Brother

S02E13 Tiny

S02E14 Manhattan

S02E15 The Queen is Dead

S02E16 The Miller’s Daughter

S02E17 Welcome to Storybrooke

S02E18 Selfless, Brave and True

S02E19 Lacey

S02E20 The Evil Queen

  • In the past Enchanted Forest, Regina disguises herself as a peasant so that she can find out what people really think about her.
  • In the present Storybrooke, Regina ventures into the catacombs with Hook to retrieve a trigger that will annihilate Storybrooke. Regina plans to escape the annihilation with Henry by using a magic bean she stole.
  • Hook betrays Regina and gives her to Greg and Tamara.
  • Greg and Tamara kidnap Regina, because Greg wants to know what Regina did with his father, Kurt Flynn.

S02E21 Second Star to the Right

  • After falling through the portal that his father, Rumpelstilskin, refused to travel through, Baelfire is transported to 19th century England, where he is taken in by Wendy Darling and her family.
  • The Darling children are visited every night by a malevolent shadow creature. Baelfire allows himself to be taken by this creature to Neverland so that the Darling children would be spared by it.
  • Neal finds out that Tamara is evil and plotting Storybrooke’s destruction.
  • Tamara shoots Neal  and he falls into a portal she created with magic bean.
  • Regina had killed Greg’s Father, Kurt.

S02E22 And Straight On ‘Til Morning

Once Upon a Time Season 2 Spring Hiatus Catch Up

SPOILER ALERT! Oh, man, you would just not believe how many spoilers that this post has. It’s just so many spoilers.

Oi, did you miss an episode of season 2 of Once Upon a Time? Well, now is a good time for you to catch up, because there are no new episodes until April 21st, and, luckily for you, I’ve compiled this handy-dandy catch up guide with important plot points from each episode.

All episode titles link to posts that I wrote about that episode and character names link to the tag archive for that character.

Table of Contents:

  1. Broken
  2. We Are Both
  3. Lady of the Lake
  4. The Crocodile
  5. The Doctor
  6. Tallahassee
  7. Child of the Moon
  8. Into the Deep
  9. Queen of Hearts
  10. The Cricket Game
  11. The Outsider
  12. In the Name of the Brother
  13. Tiny
  14. Manhattan
  15. The Queen is Dead
  16. The Miller’s Daughter
  17. Welcome to Storybrooke
  18. Selfless, Brave and True

S02E01 Broken

S02E02 We Are Both

  • The people of Storybrooke, having newly regained the memories of their past lives, must come to grips with essentially being two people at once.
  • Grumpy pushes Sneezy across the townline which makes Sneezy lose his fairy tale memories, leaving him with just his memories of being Mr. Clark.
  • David searches for a way to open a portal to the Enchanted Forest to retrieve Emma and Snow White.
  • In the past, Regina uses a magic looking glass that Rumpelstiltskin gave her to trap her mother, Cora, in Wonderland.
  • It is revealed that Rumpelstiltskin is the one that originally taught Regina how to use magic, specifically, dark magic.
  • Regina rediscovers how to use magic in Storybrooke, but changes her mind on using it to make Henry love her, because it would not be a real love.
  • Meanwhile, in the present-day Enchanted Forest, Mulan and Aurora have taken Emma and Snow White prisoner.

S02E03 Lady of the Lake

  • Sir Lancelot is introduced.
  • In the past Enchanted Forest, Snow White is kidnapped by King George who poisons her so that she cannot have a child.
  • King George’s men also shoot Prince Charming’s mother with a poison arrow.
  • Snow White, Lancelot, Prince Charming and his mother all travel Lake Nostos for a cure, but there is only enough water left there to heal one person.
  • Prince Charming’s mother pretends to drink the healing water and Lancelot secretly puts the healing water in Snow White’s goblet.
  • Prince Charming’s mother sacrifices her life to cure Snow White and lives just long enough to see Snow White and Prince Charming get married, which was her dearest wish.
  • In the present-day Enchanted Forest, Snow White and Emma are trapped in a prison with Cora.
  • Lancelot, having recognized Snow White from their past dealing frees them from the prison and they go off in search of the wardrobe that brought Emma to our world.
  • They find the wardrobe, but it turns out that Lancelot was really Cora in disguise and they have to destroy the wardrobe to keep her from getting her hands on it.
  • In Storybrooke, Jefferson is reunited with his daughter and David has trouble dealing with his new job of taking care of Henry.

S02E04 The Crocodile

  • This is the first appearance of Captain Hook, Smee and Rumpelstiltskin’s wife, Milah.
  • In the past Enchanted Forest, Milah ran off with the pirate, Killian Jones, and Rumpelstiltskin crushed Milah’s heart and cut off Killian’s hand in retaliation, making Killian into Captain Hook and Rumpelstiltskin into the crocodile (metaphorically?).
  • In Storybrooke, Moe attempts to get his daughter, Belle, over the townline to erase her memories of her love for Rumpelstiltskin, but Rumpelstiltskin saves her at the last second.
  • In the present-day Enchanted Forest, Cora shows a bottle of the ashes from the wardrobe to Captain Hook and they start hatching a plan to get to Storybrooke.

S02E05 The Doctor

S02E06 Tallahassee

  • This is the first appearance of Anton the giant.
  • In the past, Emma is a thief and she falls in love with a fellow thief named “Neal Cassidy“.
  • August Booth meets alone with Neal and convinces him that Emma, in order to fulfill her special destiny, must be rehabilitated from her life of crime and he convinces Neal to rat Emma out for a crime that she didn’t commit so that she will be thrown in jail, because jail will straighten her out or something.
  • Emma finds out that she is pregnant in jail.
  • In the present-day Enchanted Forest, Emma climbs the the beanstalk, retrieves the magic compass, decides to spare the giant’s life and leaves Captain Hook chained up in the giant’s castle.
  • Aurora has been having nightmares ever since she was woken from the sleeping curse.
  • Henry is also having nightmares after coming out of his sleeping curse

S02E07 Child of the Moon

  • In the past Enchanted Forest, while on the run from the Evil Queen, Red gets split up from Snow White and runs into her mother who Granny said was dead.
  • Red’s mother and her wolf pack teach Red how to control her wolf form.
  • Snow White finds Red, but accidentally leads some of the Evil Queen’s men to the wolves’ lair and they kill one of the pack.
  • Red’s mother believes the death is Snow White’s fault and wants Red to kill her. Red and her mother fight instead and the mother is accidentally killed in the process.
  • In Storybrooke, the dwarves have found fairy dust and they think that it can be used to fix Jefferson’s hat.
  • Albert Spencer frames Ruby for the murder of Billy and uses the the resultant distraction to steal Jefferson’s hat and destroy it.
  • Aurora and Henry meet in their nightmares.

S02E08 Into the Deep

  • In the present-day Enchanted Forest, Cora raises an undead army of the people that she stole hearts from.
  • Henry meets with Aurora in the nightmare zone.
  • David ends up trapped in the sleeping curse.

S02E09 Queen of Hearts

S02E10 The Cricket Game

S02E11 The Outsider

S02E12 In the Name of the Brother

S02E13 Tiny

S02E14 Manhattan

S02E15 The Queen is Dead

S02E16 The Miller’s Daughter

S02E17 Welcome to Storybrooke

S02E18 Selfless, Brave and True

My Thoughts On: Once Upon a Time S02E18 “Selfless, Brave and True”

WARNING SPOILERS! IF YOU DON’T LIKE SPOILERS, THEN YOU SHOULD PROBABLY STAY OFF OF THE INTERNET!

Well, kids, get ready for the 11th hour plotline gamechanger.

Forget about Sneezy losing his memory.

Forget about Mulan and Princess Aurora trying to return Prince Philip’s soul to his body.

Forget about Dr. Frankenstein trying find his lost brother.

I’m willing to bet dollars to doughnuts that the remaining episodes in season 2 revolve around the surrounding world encroaching on Storybrooke.

August Booth (played by eion bailey) on a bed beside isra (played by dianne doan)
Prostitute or girlfriend? Place your bets!

The episode opens in Phuket, Thailand. August Booth is in bed with a Thai woman named Isra. For some reason I feel that it is significant that they bothered to name the woman who August is with in this scene, even though this is the only time we see her in the entire episode. It just feels like one of those little tidbits that they put in that later becomes significant in retrospect. So, anyway, start guessing which fairy tale character Isra really is.

So, including Isra, August has been getting all up into some naughty things and, since August is really Pinocchio, we all know where this is leading…

adult wooden puppet august booth (played by eion bailey and CGI)
LITTLE WOODEN BOY!

UGH. Why did they have to make wooden puppet August look so creepy? Also, I don’t like the way that his mouth moves like a real person’s mouth. I think that puppet August should have a hinged mouth like a marionette, complete with clacking noise when it closes.

August, just like the viewers, is disgusted by his hideous wooden form, but, rather than do good deeds in order to become a real boy again, August decides to try to find an easier way out. Queue an ultra convenient bilingual person that overhears August’s plight and tells him about a mysterious man call “The Dragon” that has magical powers and can cure August of his gross woodiness. Along the way, he encounters Tamara, Neal Cassidy’s future fiancee, because everyone, everyone on this has to have a mysterious past.

Tamara, while not from a magical world herself, is intensely interested in finding magic in the world, and, what’s more, keeping that magic all for herself. Tamara obtains a magic potion from The Dragon and then has it analysed with SCIENCE!

tamara (played by sonequa martin-green) holds up a vial full of magic
THIS VIAL IS PERPLEXING!

“I tested this vial with ALL OF THE SCIENCE and I found out that it isn’t composed of SCIENCE. It is made of SOMETHING ELSE. Mayhaps it be magic?”

Note that all these tests that Tamara performed on the vial apparently only took a couple of hours.

Then, instead of trying to get more magic from The Dragon, she decides to taser him to death, because he knows too much, or something.

tamara (played by sonequa martin-green) tasers the dragon (played by tzi ma)
This isn’t even my final form! BLEH! *dead*

Tamara is the worst, because she murdered The Dragon before we could see his final form. I guess there was only enough in money in this episode’s budget for one creepy-ass CGI critter.

Tamara then somehow follows August to New York, where he meets with Neal Cassidy and then she decides to trick Neal into becoming engaged with her, or something, so she can steal the magic from Storybrooke. It doesn’t make much sense.

August decides to try to stop Tamara from stealing the magic from Storybrooke, because apparently, yes, the entire town can be threaten by a lone woman with no special powers, but she tasers him to death. He was made of wood. Wood doesn’t conduct electricity that well. How could a taser kill him? BAH!

Apparently, it’s the thought that counts and just trying to save Storybrooke is enough of a good deed. The Blue Fairy appears out of nowhere and changes August Booth into a real boy, not a real man, mind you, a real boy with none of August’s adult memories, and, thus, no memories of Tamara. That buys time for the writers to stall a confrontation with her for a few more episodes. How convenient.

Also, part of her evil plan somehow involves having sex with Greg Mendell/Owen Flynn behind Neal’s back. You know what would be nice? It it would nice if this show could have just one female antagonist that doesn’t use sex to manipulate people.

adult wooden puppet august booth changes into human pinocchio (played by jakob davies)
LITTLE HUMAN BOY!

Well, sorry August fangirls and August/Emma fanshippers, August has, effectively, been killed off, but it’s probably for the best that the 7-year-old version of August doesn’t remember what he got up to in Thailand. Still, I hope that Isra comes to Storybrooke looking for an adult August and instead is greeted by a little kid.

a photo of tamara and her grandmother
Gram-Gram

One last thing, it’s mentioned in this episode that the most important person in Tamara’s life is her grandmother.

Who is Tamara’s grandmother? Tamara had to have learned about magic from somewhere, it must have been from her grandmother. I’m willing to bet that Tamara’s mother is Wendy Darling from Peter Pan, because they’ve been foreshadowing a visit to Neverland all season. They’ve also foreshadowed that Neal Cassidy may very well have been Peter Pan, which would mean that Neal would have been romantically involved with both Tamara and her grandmother. It’s so icky that the writers probably went there.

And, if anyone tells me that Tamara’s grandmother can’t be Wendy Darling because she is black, well, they already have Scottish actor Robert Carlyle playing the German character Rumpelstiltskin, so shut up. Also, you’re racist and should go have yourself a sit in The Naughty Corner.

august booth (played by eion bailey) shows off his sweet kung-fu moves
I don’t know karate, but I know crazy!

My Thoughts On: Once Upon a Time S02E08 “Into the Deep”

Hey! If you haven’t seen episode 8 of season 2 of Once Upon a Time, then you might not want to read this!

a screencap of auror (played by sarah bolger) in the fiery dream world
DISCO INFERNO

This episode is about a fire at a disco.

A magical fiery disco that people can visit in their dreams.

Mulan maybe might be a little bit of a lesbian?

a screencap of mulan (played by jamie chung) stroking the head of aurora (played by sarah bolger)
Tenderness

Captain Hook somehow pulled out Aurora’s heart, which means that he knows some magic. This means that there are no non-magical villains anymore. This upsets me a little because it was nice that there was a villain that was different than all the rest. Now it’s just like, “Hi! We’re all magical wizards that want more magic so we can magic up the magic!” I guess King George is still a normal-person villain, but, as a king, he still vast resources. I would like to see a sort of grass roots pulled themselves up by their bootstraps type of villain. You know, someone that would actually have to work hard to be villainous. It’s all too easy for our current crop.

a screencap of cora (played by barbara hershey) holding the hear that captain hook (played by colin o'donoghue) stole from aurora (played by sarah bolger)
glowy hearty thinger

I’m still for something to really happen on this show. The characters seem to be running around a whole lot and not really accomplishing much.

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