Once Upon a Time Season 2 Catch Up

SPOILER ALERT! Well, you really should know all of this by now, but I’m warning you anyway.

Well, it’s almost time for season 3 of Once Upon a Time. Now would be a really good time for you to catch up on any episodes you missed from season 2. Luckily I have made you with handy list with be plot points!

All episode titles link to posts that I wrote about that episode and character names link to the tag archive for that character.

Table of Contents:

  1. Broken
  2. We Are Both
  3. Lady of the Lake
  4. The Crocodile
  5. The Doctor
  6. Tallahassee
  7. Child of the Moon
  8. Into the Deep
  9. Queen of Hearts
  10. The Cricket Game
  11. The Outsider
  12. In the Name of the Brother
  13. Tiny
  14. Manhattan
  15. The Queen is Dead
  16. The Miller’s Daughter
  17. Welcome to Storybrooke
  18. Selfless, Brave and True
  19. Lacey
  20. The Evil Queen
  21. Second Star to the Right
  22. And Straight On ‘Til Morning

S02E01 Broken

S02E02 We Are Both

  • The people of Storybrooke, having newly regained the memories of their past lives, must come to grips with essentially being two people at once.
  • Grumpy pushes Sneezy across the townline which makes Sneezy lose his fairy tale memories, leaving him with just his memories of being Mr. Clark.
  • David searches for a way to open a portal to the Enchanted Forest to retrieve Emma and Snow White.
  • In the past, Regina uses a magic looking glass that Rumpelstiltskin gave her to trap her mother, Cora, in Wonderland.
  • It is revealed that Rumpelstiltskin is the one that originally taught Regina how to use magic, specifically, dark magic.
  • Regina rediscovers how to use magic in Storybrooke, but changes her mind on using it to make Henry love her, because it would not be a real love.
  • Meanwhile, in the present-day Enchanted Forest, Mulan and Aurora have taken Emma and Snow White prisoner.

S02E03 Lady of the Lake

  • Sir Lancelot is introduced.
  • In the past Enchanted Forest, Snow White is kidnapped by King George who poisons her so that she cannot have a child.
  • King George’s men also shoot Prince Charming’s mother with a poison arrow.
  • Snow White, Lancelot, Prince Charming and his mother all travel Lake Nostos for a cure, but there is only enough water left there to heal one person.
  • Prince Charming’s mother pretends to drink the healing water and Lancelot secretly puts the healing water in Snow White’s goblet.
  • Prince Charming’s mother sacrifices her life to cure Snow White and lives just long enough to see Snow White and Prince Charming get married, which was her dearest wish.
  • In the present-day Enchanted Forest, Snow White and Emma are trapped in a prison with Cora.
  • Lancelot, having recognized Snow White from their past dealing frees them from the prison and they go off in search of the wardrobe that brought Emma to our world.
  • They find the wardrobe, but it turns out that Lancelot was really Cora in disguise and they have to destroy the wardrobe to keep her from getting her hands on it.
  • In Storybrooke, Jefferson is reunited with his daughter and David has trouble dealing with his new job of taking care of Henry.

S02E04 The Crocodile

  • This is the first appearance of Captain Hook, Smee and Rumpelstiltskin’s wife, Milah.
  • In the past Enchanted Forest, Milah ran off with the pirate, Killian Jones, and Rumpelstiltskin crushed Milah’s heart and cut off Killian’s hand in retaliation, making Killian into Captain Hook and Rumpelstiltskin into the crocodile (metaphorically?).
  • In Storybrooke, Moe attempts to get his daughter, Belle, over the townline to erase her memories of her love for Rumpelstiltskin, but Rumpelstiltskin saves her at the last second.
  • In the present-day Enchanted Forest, Cora shows a bottle of the ashes from the wardrobe to Captain Hook and they start hatching a plan to get to Storybrooke.

S02E05 The Doctor

S02E06 Tallahassee

  • This is the first appearance of Anton the giant.
  • In the past, Emma is a thief and she falls in love with a fellow thief named “Neal Cassidy“.
  • August Booth meets alone with Neal and convinces him that Emma, in order to fulfill her special destiny, must be rehabilitated from her life of crime and he convinces Neal to rat Emma out for a crime that she didn’t commit so that she will be thrown in jail, because jail will straighten her out or something.
  • Emma finds out that she is pregnant in jail.
  • In the present-day Enchanted Forest, Emma climbs the the beanstalk, retrieves the magic compass, decides to spare the giant’s life and leaves Captain Hook chained up in the giant’s castle.
  • Aurora has been having nightmares ever since she was woken from the sleeping curse.
  • Henry is also having nightmares after coming out of his sleeping curse

S02E07 Child of the Moon

  • In the past Enchanted Forest, while on the run from the Evil Queen, Red gets split up from Snow White and runs into her mother who Granny said was dead.
  • Red’s mother and her wolf pack teach Red how to control her wolf form.
  • Snow White finds Red, but accidentally leads some of the Evil Queen’s men to the wolves’ lair and they kill one of the pack.
  • Red’s mother believes the death is Snow White’s fault and wants Red to kill her. Red and her mother fight instead and the mother is accidentally killed in the process.
  • In Storybrooke, the dwarves have found fairy dust and they think that it can be used to fix Jefferson’s hat.
  • Albert Spencer frames Ruby for the murder of Billy and uses the the resultant distraction to steal Jefferson’s hat and destroy it.
  • Aurora and Henry meet in their nightmares.

S02E08 Into the Deep

  • In the present-day Enchanted Forest, Cora raises an undead army of the people that she stole hearts from.
  • Henry meets with Aurora in the nightmare zone.
  • David ends up trapped in the sleeping curse.

S02E09 Queen of Hearts

S02E10 The Cricket Game

S02E11 The Outsider

S02E12 In the Name of the Brother

S02E13 Tiny

S02E14 Manhattan

S02E15 The Queen is Dead

S02E16 The Miller’s Daughter

S02E17 Welcome to Storybrooke

S02E18 Selfless, Brave and True

S02E19 Lacey

S02E20 The Evil Queen

  • In the past Enchanted Forest, Regina disguises herself as a peasant so that she can find out what people really think about her.
  • In the present Storybrooke, Regina ventures into the catacombs with Hook to retrieve a trigger that will annihilate Storybrooke. Regina plans to escape the annihilation with Henry by using a magic bean she stole.
  • Hook betrays Regina and gives her to Greg and Tamara.
  • Greg and Tamara kidnap Regina, because Greg wants to know what Regina did with his father, Kurt Flynn.

S02E21 Second Star to the Right

  • After falling through the portal that his father, Rumpelstilskin, refused to travel through, Baelfire is transported to 19th century England, where he is taken in by Wendy Darling and her family.
  • The Darling children are visited every night by a malevolent shadow creature. Baelfire allows himself to be taken by this creature to Neverland so that the Darling children would be spared by it.
  • Neal finds out that Tamara is evil and plotting Storybrooke’s destruction.
  • Tamara shoots Neal  and he falls into a portal she created with magic bean.
  • Regina had killed Greg’s Father, Kurt.

S02E22 And Straight On ‘Til Morning

My Thoughts On: Once Upon a Time S02E22 “And Straight On ‘Til Morning”

SPOILER ALERT! TODAY’S RECAP WILL BE PRESENTED IN ALL CAPS, BECAUSE SHUT UP, THAT’S WHY! SPOILER ALERT!

THIS WEEK’S EPISODE WAS THE SEASON FINALE AND I’M GLAD, BECAUSE I’M NOT SURE HOW MUCH MORE OF THIS I WOULD BE ABLE TO TAKE.

AND, NOW, HERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT I YELLED AT THE TV WHILE THE EPISODE WAS AIRING:

A SCREENCAP OF GRUMPY (PLAYED BY LEE ARENBERG) HOLDING A MAGIC MEMORY-RETURNING POTION
IT’S BLUE LIKE ROMULAN ALE

THE BLUE FAIRY MADE A LAST-MINUTE POTION THAT CAN RETURN PEOPLE’S MEMORIES TO THEM? THAT’S GODDAMN CONVENIENT.

GRUMPY IS GOING TO RETURN SLEEPY’S MEMORIES TO HIM AGAINST HIS WILL? MAGIC ASSAULT!

WELL, I WAS WRONG. THE WRITERS DID FIND A WAY TO RETURN SLEEPY’S MEMORY TO HIM BY THE LAST EPISODE. THEY FOUND A VERY HALF-ASSED, HAND-WAVEY WAY TO RETURN SLEEPY’S MEMORY TO HIM. GOOD FOR THEM.

A SCREENCAP OF CAPTAIN HOOK (PLAYED BY COLIN O'DONOGHUE) TEACHING YOUNG BAELFIRE (PLAYED BY DYLAN SCHMID) HOW TO STEER A SHIP
STEER THE BOOT THROUGH CGI INFESTED WATERS

BAELFIRE HAS THREE DADS NOW! RUMPELSTILTSKIN, MR. DARLING AND CAPTAIN HOOK! WHAT A LUCKY BOY!

HOW IS CAPTAIN HOOK EVEN A PIRATE? WE NEVER SEE HIM PILLAGING EVER. DOES THE EYELINER MAKE HIM A PIRATE?

THEY MENTION CURSED MERMAIDS A WHOLE BUNCH AND WE NEVER SEE THEM. I FEEL CHEATED.

A SCREENCAP OF EMMA SWAN (PLAYED BY JENNIFER MORRISON) AND REGINA MILLS (PLAYED BY LANA PARRILLA) COMBING THEIR MAGIC TO STOP THE DOOMSDAY DEVICE
MORTAL ENEMIES WORKING TOGETHER FOR THE COMMON GOOD!

THE SELF-DESTRUCT BUTTON FOR STORYBROOKE IS UNSTOPPABLE… NOT! IT ONLY NEEDS TWO MAGIC USERS TO STOP IT. EMMA HAS BARELY HAD ANY PRACTICE AT USING MAGIC AND THEY STILL STOPPED IT. ABSOLUTELY NO ONE DIED AND THE DESTRUCTION WAS MINIMAL. WEREN’T THEY ADVERTISING THAT THE SEASON FINALE WAS GOING TO BE DEVASTATING?

A SCREENCAP OF GREG MENDELL (PLAYED BY ETHAN EMBRY) AND TAMARA (PLAYED BY SONEQUA MARTIN-GREEN) KIDNAPPING HENRY MILLS (PLAYED BY JARED S. GILMORE)
DON’T WORRY, HE’LL ANNOY THEM SO MUCH THEY’LL PAY TO GET RID OF HIM

SOMEHOW GREG AND TAMARA MANAGE TO BE COMPLETELY SILENT AND INVISIBLE TO KIDNAP HENRY WHEN HE WAS RIGHT BESIDE HIS MOMS AND HIS GRANDPARENTS. THEY ALSO GAIN A LARGE LEAD ON THEM DESPITE ONLY JOG-WALKING AWAY.

GREG AND TAMARA ARE, YET AGAIN, EXTREMELY VAGUE ABOUT WHO THEY ARE WORKING FOR AND WHAT EXACTLY THEIR CAUSE IS. I SERIOUSLY BELIEVE THAT THE WRITERS THEMSELVES DON’T KNOW AND THEY’RE USING VAGUENESS TO BUY THEMSELVES SOME TIME. THEY KEEP USING WORDS LIKE “HOLY” AND “SACRED”, SO I’M JUST GOING TO PRETEND THAT THEY’RE WORKING FOR THE POPE, UNTIL I’M TOLD OTHERWISE.

A SCREENCAP OF EMMA SWAN (PLAYED BY JENNIFER MORRISON), REGINA MILLS (PLAYED BY LANA PARRILLA), MR. GOLD (PLAYED BY REOBERT CARLYLE), CAPTAIN HOOK (PLAYED BY COLIN O'DONOGHUE), MARY MARGARET (PLAYED BY GINNIFER GOODWIN) AND DAVID NOLAN (PLAYED BY JOSH DALLAS) BRACING THEMSELVES ON A BOAT
THEY’RE ON A BOAT!

EVERYBODY IS FRIENDS NOW! EMMA, REGINA, CAPTAIN HOOK, MARY MARGARET AND DAVID PUT ASIDE THEIR DIFFERENCES IN ORDER TO FORM AN ELITE TEAM AND GET HENRY BACK. THEY HATED EACHOTHER JUST FIVE MINUTES AGO, BUT WHO CARES? SHUT YOUR BUTT!

AAAAAANNNNDDDDDDD…IT LOOKS LIKE THE BIG BAD FOR NEXT SEASON IS GOING TO BE PETER PAN. THEY BETTER GET A MICHAEL JACKSON LOOKALIKE TO PLAY PETER PAN.

GRAGH! *SMASH* *STOMP* NARG! *SMASH* SNARGH! *STOMP*

My Thoughts On: Once Upon a Time S02E21 “Second Star to the Right”

SPOILER ALERT!

I am angry at this show. This show makes me angry.

Young Baelfire emerges from the portal created by the magic bean a half-foot taller and with a deeper voice. He is in 19th century London, England. He promptly decides to become a moppet, or a ragamuffin, or a 19th century cockney bootblack… or something. Anyway, it’s a job that doesn’t pay the bills. He takes to breaking into people’s houses and stealing food to survive.

Anyhoo… One of the houses he decides to rob happens to be the home of Wendy Moira Angela Darling (of Peter Pan fame) and she decides to take pity on Baelfire, the poor street urchin, and keep him in her crawlspace and feed him table scraps. This is the first instance of a person being kept in a crawlspace while not also being tortured and/or murdered that I have ever seen. Wendy’s parents discover this strange arrangement and, instead of being angry, decide that the best course of action is for this peripubescent boy to move out of the crawlspace and stay in their peripubescent daughter’s bedroom instead. Incidentally, in the olden days, when you found a parentless child, instead of having to report them to the authorities, you could just decide to keep them.

Alright, so Tamara’s grandmother isn’t Wendy. I am usually wrong most of the time, so you shouldn’t have believed me anyway. I don’t think this is the last we’re going to see of Wendy though.

a screencap of young baelfire (played by dylan schmid), wendy darling (played by freya tingley) and the shadow played by cgi
Hey! Dark Link wants to take me on an adventure and I’m going!

It turns out that Bae’s would-be girlfriend, Wendy, has been being visited in the middle of the night by a magic shadow. The shadow looks evil and acts ominous but Wendy thinks it’s wonderful. That is, until the shadow takes her to Neverland, which turns out to be a horrible place where children miss their parents for eternity and the shadow wants to take one of her brothers there. Bae ends up sacrificing himself and going to Neverland instead and that’s the reason why Baelfire isn’t 130 years old in present day on the show.

One thing I noticed is that although they say “Neverland” a lot in this episode, they never actually mention Peter Pan. I wonder if they are trying to weasel their way out of having to pay royalties to the Great Ormand Street Hospital who own the rights to Peter Pan?

Some other stuff that happened:

  • Lacey and Mr. Gold beat up Dr. Whale, because it is fun and also to remind the audience that Dr. Whale exists. I assume Dr. Whale will play some sort of important part in this season’s finale because of this.
  • Lacey is still an alcoholic.
  • Greg and Tamara are trying to murder magic because it’s unholy or something.
  • Greg and Tamara keep alluding to some worldwide anti-magic organization that they belong to without ever naming it. I bet the writers haven’t actually come up with what the organization is yet.
  • David gives his gun to Emma, but then in the next scene he points his gun at Greg. CONTINUITY ERROR!
  • Tamara shoots Neal and throws a magic bean at him. He falls through a portal AGAIN.
a screencap of emma swan (played by jennifer morrison) about to lose her grip on neal cassidy (played by michael raymond-james) over a portal to another world
WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME!?

Things that I think aren’t going to happen in the finale:

  • Sneezy getting his memory back
  • The big reveal of the secret organization that Tamara and Greg belong to
  • Dr. Frankentstein finding his brother
  • Finding out where Neal went when he fell through the portal this time around
  • Rumpelstiltskin’s undoing

Once Upon a Time Season 2 Spring Hiatus Catch Up

SPOILER ALERT! Oh, man, you would just not believe how many spoilers that this post has. It’s just so many spoilers.

Oi, did you miss an episode of season 2 of Once Upon a Time? Well, now is a good time for you to catch up, because there are no new episodes until April 21st, and, luckily for you, I’ve compiled this handy-dandy catch up guide with important plot points from each episode.

All episode titles link to posts that I wrote about that episode and character names link to the tag archive for that character.

Table of Contents:

  1. Broken
  2. We Are Both
  3. Lady of the Lake
  4. The Crocodile
  5. The Doctor
  6. Tallahassee
  7. Child of the Moon
  8. Into the Deep
  9. Queen of Hearts
  10. The Cricket Game
  11. The Outsider
  12. In the Name of the Brother
  13. Tiny
  14. Manhattan
  15. The Queen is Dead
  16. The Miller’s Daughter
  17. Welcome to Storybrooke
  18. Selfless, Brave and True

S02E01 Broken

S02E02 We Are Both

  • The people of Storybrooke, having newly regained the memories of their past lives, must come to grips with essentially being two people at once.
  • Grumpy pushes Sneezy across the townline which makes Sneezy lose his fairy tale memories, leaving him with just his memories of being Mr. Clark.
  • David searches for a way to open a portal to the Enchanted Forest to retrieve Emma and Snow White.
  • In the past, Regina uses a magic looking glass that Rumpelstiltskin gave her to trap her mother, Cora, in Wonderland.
  • It is revealed that Rumpelstiltskin is the one that originally taught Regina how to use magic, specifically, dark magic.
  • Regina rediscovers how to use magic in Storybrooke, but changes her mind on using it to make Henry love her, because it would not be a real love.
  • Meanwhile, in the present-day Enchanted Forest, Mulan and Aurora have taken Emma and Snow White prisoner.

S02E03 Lady of the Lake

  • Sir Lancelot is introduced.
  • In the past Enchanted Forest, Snow White is kidnapped by King George who poisons her so that she cannot have a child.
  • King George’s men also shoot Prince Charming’s mother with a poison arrow.
  • Snow White, Lancelot, Prince Charming and his mother all travel Lake Nostos for a cure, but there is only enough water left there to heal one person.
  • Prince Charming’s mother pretends to drink the healing water and Lancelot secretly puts the healing water in Snow White’s goblet.
  • Prince Charming’s mother sacrifices her life to cure Snow White and lives just long enough to see Snow White and Prince Charming get married, which was her dearest wish.
  • In the present-day Enchanted Forest, Snow White and Emma are trapped in a prison with Cora.
  • Lancelot, having recognized Snow White from their past dealing frees them from the prison and they go off in search of the wardrobe that brought Emma to our world.
  • They find the wardrobe, but it turns out that Lancelot was really Cora in disguise and they have to destroy the wardrobe to keep her from getting her hands on it.
  • In Storybrooke, Jefferson is reunited with his daughter and David has trouble dealing with his new job of taking care of Henry.

S02E04 The Crocodile

  • This is the first appearance of Captain Hook, Smee and Rumpelstiltskin’s wife, Milah.
  • In the past Enchanted Forest, Milah ran off with the pirate, Killian Jones, and Rumpelstiltskin crushed Milah’s heart and cut off Killian’s hand in retaliation, making Killian into Captain Hook and Rumpelstiltskin into the crocodile (metaphorically?).
  • In Storybrooke, Moe attempts to get his daughter, Belle, over the townline to erase her memories of her love for Rumpelstiltskin, but Rumpelstiltskin saves her at the last second.
  • In the present-day Enchanted Forest, Cora shows a bottle of the ashes from the wardrobe to Captain Hook and they start hatching a plan to get to Storybrooke.

S02E05 The Doctor

S02E06 Tallahassee

  • This is the first appearance of Anton the giant.
  • In the past, Emma is a thief and she falls in love with a fellow thief named “Neal Cassidy“.
  • August Booth meets alone with Neal and convinces him that Emma, in order to fulfill her special destiny, must be rehabilitated from her life of crime and he convinces Neal to rat Emma out for a crime that she didn’t commit so that she will be thrown in jail, because jail will straighten her out or something.
  • Emma finds out that she is pregnant in jail.
  • In the present-day Enchanted Forest, Emma climbs the the beanstalk, retrieves the magic compass, decides to spare the giant’s life and leaves Captain Hook chained up in the giant’s castle.
  • Aurora has been having nightmares ever since she was woken from the sleeping curse.
  • Henry is also having nightmares after coming out of his sleeping curse

S02E07 Child of the Moon

  • In the past Enchanted Forest, while on the run from the Evil Queen, Red gets split up from Snow White and runs into her mother who Granny said was dead.
  • Red’s mother and her wolf pack teach Red how to control her wolf form.
  • Snow White finds Red, but accidentally leads some of the Evil Queen’s men to the wolves’ lair and they kill one of the pack.
  • Red’s mother believes the death is Snow White’s fault and wants Red to kill her. Red and her mother fight instead and the mother is accidentally killed in the process.
  • In Storybrooke, the dwarves have found fairy dust and they think that it can be used to fix Jefferson’s hat.
  • Albert Spencer frames Ruby for the murder of Billy and uses the the resultant distraction to steal Jefferson’s hat and destroy it.
  • Aurora and Henry meet in their nightmares.

S02E08 Into the Deep

  • In the present-day Enchanted Forest, Cora raises an undead army of the people that she stole hearts from.
  • Henry meets with Aurora in the nightmare zone.
  • David ends up trapped in the sleeping curse.

S02E09 Queen of Hearts

S02E10 The Cricket Game

S02E11 The Outsider

S02E12 In the Name of the Brother

S02E13 Tiny

S02E14 Manhattan

S02E15 The Queen is Dead

S02E16 The Miller’s Daughter

S02E17 Welcome to Storybrooke

S02E18 Selfless, Brave and True

My Thoughts On: Once Upon a Time S02E18 “Selfless, Brave and True”

WARNING SPOILERS! IF YOU DON’T LIKE SPOILERS, THEN YOU SHOULD PROBABLY STAY OFF OF THE INTERNET!

Well, kids, get ready for the 11th hour plotline gamechanger.

Forget about Sneezy losing his memory.

Forget about Mulan and Princess Aurora trying to return Prince Philip’s soul to his body.

Forget about Dr. Frankenstein trying find his lost brother.

I’m willing to bet dollars to doughnuts that the remaining episodes in season 2 revolve around the surrounding world encroaching on Storybrooke.

August Booth (played by eion bailey) on a bed beside isra (played by dianne doan)
Prostitute or girlfriend? Place your bets!

The episode opens in Phuket, Thailand. August Booth is in bed with a Thai woman named Isra. For some reason I feel that it is significant that they bothered to name the woman who August is with in this scene, even though this is the only time we see her in the entire episode. It just feels like one of those little tidbits that they put in that later becomes significant in retrospect. So, anyway, start guessing which fairy tale character Isra really is.

So, including Isra, August has been getting all up into some naughty things and, since August is really Pinocchio, we all know where this is leading…

adult wooden puppet august booth (played by eion bailey and CGI)
LITTLE WOODEN BOY!

UGH. Why did they have to make wooden puppet August look so creepy? Also, I don’t like the way that his mouth moves like a real person’s mouth. I think that puppet August should have a hinged mouth like a marionette, complete with clacking noise when it closes.

August, just like the viewers, is disgusted by his hideous wooden form, but, rather than do good deeds in order to become a real boy again, August decides to try to find an easier way out. Queue an ultra convenient bilingual person that overhears August’s plight and tells him about a mysterious man call “The Dragon” that has magical powers and can cure August of his gross woodiness. Along the way, he encounters Tamara, Neal Cassidy’s future fiancee, because everyone, everyone on this has to have a mysterious past.

Tamara, while not from a magical world herself, is intensely interested in finding magic in the world, and, what’s more, keeping that magic all for herself. Tamara obtains a magic potion from The Dragon and then has it analysed with SCIENCE!

tamara (played by sonequa martin-green) holds up a vial full of magic
THIS VIAL IS PERPLEXING!

“I tested this vial with ALL OF THE SCIENCE and I found out that it isn’t composed of SCIENCE. It is made of SOMETHING ELSE. Mayhaps it be magic?”

Note that all these tests that Tamara performed on the vial apparently only took a couple of hours.

Then, instead of trying to get more magic from The Dragon, she decides to taser him to death, because he knows too much, or something.

tamara (played by sonequa martin-green) tasers the dragon (played by tzi ma)
This isn’t even my final form! BLEH! *dead*

Tamara is the worst, because she murdered The Dragon before we could see his final form. I guess there was only enough in money in this episode’s budget for one creepy-ass CGI critter.

Tamara then somehow follows August to New York, where he meets with Neal Cassidy and then she decides to trick Neal into becoming engaged with her, or something, so she can steal the magic from Storybrooke. It doesn’t make much sense.

August decides to try to stop Tamara from stealing the magic from Storybrooke, because apparently, yes, the entire town can be threaten by a lone woman with no special powers, but she tasers him to death. He was made of wood. Wood doesn’t conduct electricity that well. How could a taser kill him? BAH!

Apparently, it’s the thought that counts and just trying to save Storybrooke is enough of a good deed. The Blue Fairy appears out of nowhere and changes August Booth into a real boy, not a real man, mind you, a real boy with none of August’s adult memories, and, thus, no memories of Tamara. That buys time for the writers to stall a confrontation with her for a few more episodes. How convenient.

Also, part of her evil plan somehow involves having sex with Greg Mendell/Owen Flynn behind Neal’s back. You know what would be nice? It it would nice if this show could have just one female antagonist that doesn’t use sex to manipulate people.

adult wooden puppet august booth changes into human pinocchio (played by jakob davies)
LITTLE HUMAN BOY!

Well, sorry August fangirls and August/Emma fanshippers, August has, effectively, been killed off, but it’s probably for the best that the 7-year-old version of August doesn’t remember what he got up to in Thailand. Still, I hope that Isra comes to Storybrooke looking for an adult August and instead is greeted by a little kid.

a photo of tamara and her grandmother
Gram-Gram

One last thing, it’s mentioned in this episode that the most important person in Tamara’s life is her grandmother.

Who is Tamara’s grandmother? Tamara had to have learned about magic from somewhere, it must have been from her grandmother. I’m willing to bet that Tamara’s mother is Wendy Darling from Peter Pan, because they’ve been foreshadowing a visit to Neverland all season. They’ve also foreshadowed that Neal Cassidy may very well have been Peter Pan, which would mean that Neal would have been romantically involved with both Tamara and her grandmother. It’s so icky that the writers probably went there.

And, if anyone tells me that Tamara’s grandmother can’t be Wendy Darling because she is black, well, they already have Scottish actor Robert Carlyle playing the German character Rumpelstiltskin, so shut up. Also, you’re racist and should go have yourself a sit in The Naughty Corner.

august booth (played by eion bailey) shows off his sweet kung-fu moves
I don’t know karate, but I know crazy!

My Thoughts On: Once Upon a Time S02E17 “Welcome to Storybrooke”

TRIGGER WARNING! If you are sensitive to spoilers and you haven’t seen the seventeenth episode of the second season of Once Upon a Time,”Welcome to Storybrooke”, then you might not want to view this post without consulting your support team first.

Being a good single  mom, having a fulfilling day job and crushing your enemies beneath your feet, can a woman have it all? Regina seems to think so.

This episode is all about having your cake and eating it too.

Although, through the use of magic, I believe that an “infinity cake” is probably possible…

owen flynn (played by benjamin james stockham) and his father, kurt flynn (played by john pyper-ferguson) bond around a campfire
Here, kid, have a dealie.

Meet Owen Flynn and Kurt Flynn. They’re two “normies” from the real world that are about to feel the full brunt of Regina’s reactive attachment disorder.

the crotch of sheriff graham (played by jamie dornan)
I’d know that crotch anywhere!

Part of this episode takes place in the early days of Storybrooke, just after the curse was cast, so, of course, they break out their secret sexy weapon…

the face of sheriff graham (played by jamie dornan)
Skinny hipster tie…

It’s Sheriff Tight-Pants… Er, Sheriff Hipster… Er, I mean, Sheriff Sexy… Whoops! No, it’s Sheriff Graham!

Methinks that the writers are really regretting killing-off Sheriff Graham. All the ladies love him! I mean, look at him, standing there with his face and junk. WHAT’S NOT TO LOVE!?

Look at that skinny tie! It’s amazing!

Mary margaret (played by ginnifer goodwin) can't get out of be because she is too sad
ANGST COMA

Anyhoo, Mary Margret has to stay in bed for the rest of her life, because she just feels so bad after the whole “killing Cora” thing. She murdered millions of henchmen as Snow White and didn’t care at all! Snow White’s black and white morality apparently only applies to main characters. Actually, in this entire show, it’s only he lives of the main characters that matter.

Later on in this episode, Regina pulls out Mary’s heart and we see that it has a black spot, because apparently that’s what happens to your heart when you trick a person into killing their own mother. Methinks Mary, in upcoming episodes, is going to do as many good deeds as possible, in order to erase the darkness from her heart and finally become a real boy.

She should just seek out Mother Superior and repent to God. That would be faster.

*ASIDE* Why are all the fairies still dressed up as nuns? You’d figure that magic and such would be incompatible with the Catholic belief system.

regina mills (played by lana parrilla) and owen flynn (played by benjamin james stockham) look into an oven
Shove the kid inside! You know you want to.

Regina falls absolutely in love with Owen Flynn. I don’t know why, though. The kid spends the entire episode being an obnoxious butt.

She’s so in love with him that she attempts to steal the damn kid away from his father, but it doesn’t work out so well. Owen Flynn manages to escape Storybrooke, leaving his father behind.

We haven’t seen or heard anything about Kurt Flynn until this episode. Where has Kurt been this whole time? Is he in Regina’s vault? Several characters saw him and his son. Why hasn’t anyone mentioned anything about it? It will probably be handwaved away with “the cursed messed up everyone’s memories”. Magic makes covering up plotholes too easy.

neal cassidy (played by michael raymond james) gives his son henry played by jared s. gilmore) a sundae
Unmoved by the delicious bribe.

Neal Cassidy tries to use ice cream to bribe Henry into leaving Storybrooke. Henry decides that he’d rather stay and try to blow up all the magic instead. Luckily Regina shows up just in time to tell Henry that “You can’t just blow up all your problems, son”. Screw that, explosions always solve everything! Why the dwarves of Storybrooke are just leaving their dynamite unattended,  in a world where everyone is trying to kill eachother, I will never know.

At the end of the episode, we find out that Greg Mendell is really Owen Flynn, because, on this show, everyone has to have at least two identities, even people from the real world. Soon, we’re going to find out that Henry is really one of the sugar plum fairies from Fantasia

Anyway, Greg Mendell/Owen Flynn is back in Storybrooke to find his father, who will now, presumably, be around the same age as him and, oh, how there will be angst and drama because of it. There are only 5 episodes left in this season and I doubt that this plotline will be resolved in that time. I dislike when they shoehorn in 11th hour plotlines so that they will have something to carry over into the next season.