My Thoughts On: Once Upon a Time S02E12 “In the Name of the Brother”

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SPOILER ALERT! If you haven’t seen episode 12 of season 2 of Once Upon a Time, In the Name of the Brother, then you might not want to read this.

We learned something important about Dr. Whale/Victor Frankenstein in this episode. We learned that he is much more fun when he is drunk.

Also, he turned his brother into a sexy monster, or something, and it ended up traumatizing him.

Everything is sexy on this show, especially Sexy Igor.

sexy igor (played by yurij kis) in the black and white land
What hump?

Why does everything on this show have to be so sexy? Igor can’t have a hunch on this show? No, everyone must be beautiful!

Victor Frankenstein (played by
Good as new!

Even when Victor Frankenstein brings his brother, Gerhardt, back from the dead, he’s still sexy. He’s hardly rotten or scarred-up or anything. Methinks you shouldn’t be able to look at Frankenstein’s monster and think, “Hey, that guy’s kind of cute!”, but that’s just my opinion.

rumpelstiltskin (played by robert carlyle) kisses belle (played by emilie de ravin) while she is unconscious
Dude! Not cool!

Rumpelstiltskin kissed Belle while she was unconscious and she freaked out.

How does consent for unconscious fairytale kissing work? Is it implied consent if your kiss wakes the person up? Well, Rumpelstiltskin is in the real world here and he should obey the law of the land and the law says that molesting unconscious people is uncool.

rumpelstiltskin (played by robert carlyle) kiss cora (played by barbara hershey) to seal a deal
Ew.

Rumpelstiltskin also kisses Cora, because that’s apparently what they used to do in the old days.

The People that make this show want us to think that Rumpelstiltskin is Regina’s real father, but my money is on Rumpelstiltskin not being her father and also having been involved in a romantic relationship with Regina. You know, for that extra “ew” factor.

rumpelstiltskin (played by robert carlyle) pours a pile of gold on the floor of the black and white laboratory of frankenstein (played by david anders)
IT’S THE WRONG COLOUR!

THAT GOLD IS THE WRONG COLOUR FOR THIS UNIVERSE! GOLD IN THIS UNIVERSE IS GREY! EVERYTHING IS GREY! IF YOU TRY TO SPEND THAT GOLD IN THIS UNIVERSE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO FREAK OUT BECAUSE THEY ARE SEEING COLOURS THAT THEY HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE!

I really don’t know why Victor Frankenstein wasn’t freaking out in this scene. And, really, that gold is unspendable in the black & white universe, seriously.

There was also some jazz about an outsider coming to Storybrooke and everyone is afraid that he’s going to tell the outside world about the town. But, hey, wouldn’t outsiders have had to have been to Storybrooke before, when they were checking on Regina to see if she was a suitable parent for Henry, right?

Why do I keep questioning the logic on this show? It’s pointless. I’m so ashamed of myself.

My Thoughts On: Once Upon a Time Episode S02E10 “The Cricket Game” & Episode S02E11 “The Outsider”

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OI! If you haven’t seen episodes 10 and 11 of season 2 of Once Upon a Time, then you might not want to read this.

I don’t really have much to say about these episodes, other than that they seemed to be mostly about time-wasting and stalling the storyline.

The Cricket Game stalls the “Regina’s Redemption” storyline, by making it look like she murdered Archie/Jiminy, but she really didn’t and everyone finds out that she didn’t really commit murder in the very next episode thereby making this episode completely pointless. But, I guess we have to see Regina suffer a bit more because DRAMA.

The Outsider stalls the “Rumpelstiltskin and Baelfire Reunion” storyline, by first taking Rumpel’s magical macguffin that lets him leave town and keep his memory and then having Captain Hook shoot Belle across the town border and having her lose her memory. So, now Rumpelstilskin has to stay in Storybrooke and look after Belle for a couple of episodes, instead of looking for Baelfire, I’m betting.

Some Problems:

  • Hook has never seen a modern gun before. How was he so sure that the bullet would only make Belle stumble over the townline and not, in fact, kill her?
  • How come nobody seems to care anymore that Sneezy the dwarf has lost his memory? They seemed really keen to fix that earlier and now nobody seems to remember it even happening.
  • Why do the characters on this show always leave their enemies alive? They mow through various underlings, henchmen and mooks without a care in the world, but when it comes to taking the big boss down, they always develop morals, all of a sudden. Hey, henchmen have families too, you know?

Anyway, next episode looks like it’s going to be a Victor Frankenstein episode. I hope that they bring back Sexy Igor!

My Thoughts On: Once Upon a Time S02E09 “Queen of Hearts”

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“SPOILER ALERT! If you haven’t seen episode 9 of season 2 of Once Upon a Time, then you might not want to read this!

This was the fall finale of Once Upon a Time, and, boy, did they cram a lot of stuff in it.

There was something about magical squid ink, again, alluding to a possible confrontation with the little mermaid.

It turns out the Emma has a magical heart, because she is a true love baby, so it cannot be taken out of her chest. The means that almost all of the other characters aren’t true love babies, since they all seem to have removable hearts. I wonder how they feel finding out that their parents didn’t truly love eachother?

Charming was let out of his sleeping curse after only spending about an afternoon in it, so, that was nice.

At the end there was some jazz about Emma and Snow using the only portal out of The Fairytale Land That Was, thereby preventing Cora and Hook from getting to Storybrooke, but, somehow, Cora and Hook managed to get to Storybrooke in the last second of the episode, anyway.

Yay, even the bad guys get their problem immediately fixed in this show.

Bleh, I had more than this written up about this episode, but Windows did one of those automatic shutdowns and I lost it. Bleh.

My Thoughts On: Once Upon a Time S02E08 “Into the Deep”

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Hey! If you haven’t seen episode 8 of season 2 of Once Upon a Time, then you might not want to read this!

a screencap of auror (played by sarah bolger) in the fiery dream world
DISCO INFERNO

This episode is about a fire at a disco.

A magical fiery disco that people can visit in their dreams.

Mulan maybe might be a little bit of a lesbian?

a screencap of mulan (played by jamie chung) stroking the head of aurora (played by sarah bolger)
Tenderness

Captain Hook somehow pulled out Aurora’s heart, which means that he knows some magic. This means that there are no non-magical villains anymore. This upsets me a little because it was nice that there was a villain that was different than all the rest. Now it’s just like, “Hi! We’re all magical wizards that want more magic so we can magic up the magic!” I guess King George is still a normal-person villain, but, as a king, he still vast resources. I would like to see a sort of grass roots pulled themselves up by their bootstraps type of villain. You know, someone that would actually have to work hard to be villainous. It’s all too easy for our current crop.

a screencap of cora (played by barbara hershey) holding the hear that captain hook (played by colin o'donoghue) stole from aurora (played by sarah bolger)
glowy hearty thinger

I’m still for something to really happen on this show. The characters seem to be running around a whole lot and not really accomplishing much.

My Thoughts On: Once Upon a Time S02E07 “Child of the Moon”

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SPOILER ALERT! If you haven’t seen episode 7 of the second season of Once Upon a Time, you might not want to read this!

So, the entire point of this episode seemed to be to fill in the plot hole of how Granny doesn’t turn into a wolf during Wolf’s Time.

What is with this show and orphans? First they killed off Charming’s Mother and now they’ve killed off Red’s mother.

I don’t know, I don’t really have much to say about this episode. Red needed to find a way to control her wolf side. She met her mother who taught her how to control it. Her mother then died, because the plot didn’t need her anymore. It’s pretty straight forward.

The only thing, which is a mystery, I guess, is what’s going on with this one dumpster:

a dumpster that reads: "79 times boats only"
79 times Boats only

So it says “Boats only”, so I assume this is the dumpster just for boats, but what does “79 times” mean? Did something happen 79 times in this dumpster? IT’S A MYSTERY!

My Thoughts On: Once Upon a Time S02E06 “Tallahassee”

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SPOILER ALERT! If you have seen episode 6 season 2 of Once Upon a Time, then you might not want to read this!

I don’t know, for an episode that was supposed to be some big revelation, I found this episode to be kind of “blah”.

So, anyway…

a wanted poster for Neal Cassid (play by Michael Raymond-James)
Yeehaw! It’s 1870!

Michael Raymond-James’ character, who we met way back in episode 1 of season 2, is a guy named “Neal Cassidy”. He was Emma’s boyfriend and he is probably Henry’s dad. Then again, we never saw a paternity test, so whoever fathered Henry is still up for grabs. My bet is on Henry having been conceived by THE FORCE and something something midi-chlorians.

A more important question, I think, is why does August Booth have Marsellus Wallace’s soul?

Neal Cassidy (played by Michael Raymond-James) and August Booth (played by Eion Bailey) looking into august's box
WHAT’S IN THE BOX!?

There was also some jazz in this episode about stealing a magical golden compass from the last big friendly giant in the world. Hey, a golden compass? Who owns the movie rights to the His Dark Materials movie series, now that New Line Cinema has gone belly up? If I recall correctly, there was travel between universes in His Dark Materials, just like in Once Upon a Time. They could totally do a crossover! I doubt ABC would want to anger the Catholic church though…

And, apparently, Captain Hook is in love with Emma, or something. LOVE TRIANGLE! DRAMA BOMB!

Also, Neal gave August a bunch of money to give to Emma, but August spent it all on hookers.

I think they need to make Mulan a little less angry all the time.