Once Upon a Time Catch Up

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SPOILER ALERT! If you haven’t seen Once Upon a Time episodes 2 through 5, you might not want to read this article.

Due to an illness and server troubles, I haven’t been keeping up with posting as many Once Upon a Time articles as I’d like to. So, here are some little summaries of my thoughts on episodes 2 through 5.

S02E02: We Are Both

a screencap of regina mill (played by Lana Parrilla) breathing in some magic
Magic smells good!
  • Ugh. They’re making magic analogousness to drugs. So, does that only mean that evil magic is like drugs and good magic is like prescription drugs? Because, no one has any problem with the magic that the fairies use. Seems like a broken aesop to me.
  • Going over the town line means that you lose your fairy tale memories and are only left with your Storybrooke memories. Rumpelstiltskin never had any Storybrooke persona. Would he lose his entire memory or would he gain a Storybrooke persona, if he went over the town line? Also, who went over the town line to get Henry?

S02E03: Lady of the Lake

a screencap of emma swan (played by jennifer morrison) being smelled by an ogre
Emma smells good!
  • Charming’s mother dies needlessly in this episode! It’s a world full of magic! They most definitely could have found something other than the magic lake water to cure Snow White elsewhere.
  • “Hey, Emma, ogres hunt by sound!” Emma: “I’mma fire my gun for no good reason!”
  • An awul lot of the Enchanted Forest seems to exist still. I though most of it was supposed to be a void?

S02E04: The Crocodile

a screencap of rumpelstiltskin (played by robert carlyle) and captain hook (played by Colin O'Donoghue)
Rumpelstiltskin and Captain Hook smell good!
  • So, Rumpelstiltskin is now the Fairygodmother from Cinderella, the Beast from Beauty and the Beast, the Dark One and the crocodile from Peter Pan. They need to stop making Rumpelstiltskin every character from every book. I mean, I love watching Robert Carlyle chew the scenery, but, seriously, this is getting to be too much.
  • Sexy Captain Hook? EVERYTHING MUST BE SEXY!
  • How did Rumpelstiltskin get such a sexy wife in the first place?

S02E05: The Doctor

a screencap of sexy igor (played by Yurij Kis)
Sexy Igor smells good!
  • Regina had a whole vault full of hearts. Why couldn’t Victor Frankenstein just ask for an extra one? Why did he have to trick her out of a heart?
  • Sexy Igor? Well, at least it wasn’t angry teenage Igor.
  • Why isn’t Frankenstein black and white everywhere that he goes? (It’s definitely due to budgetary constraints, but still…)

1 Day ‘Til “Once Upon a Time”

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Place Your Bets!

Season 2 of Once Upon a Time starts tomorrow.

Here my prediction for things that will happen in season 2.

  • Dr. Whale will be new, original character, not an established fairy tale character.
  • Some sort of time travel related hijinks are going to ensue.
  • The “true love’s kiss” is going to be overused again.
  • A main character will die.
  • Chernabog will make an appearance.
  • One of the fairy tale characters will be forced to believe in science.
  • Emma is going to make that face every single episode.
  • Regina and Rumpelstiltskin will be forced to join forces against an even bigger evil.
  • Multiple personality disorder will abound.
  • More jazz about how believing in things gives them power.
  • Walt Disney’s frozen head will be a macguffin.
  • The werewolves will get in a war with the fairies.
  • Disney owns Marvel now, so Spider-Man will show up.
  • Rumpelstiltskin’s cane contains a sword.
  • Fairy tale creature racism!
  • Smoke monster
  • There will be a dance off.

That’s all I can think of. Good Night.

6 Days ‘Til “Once Upon a Time”

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Who Is Doctor Whale and Why Do I Care?

So, we’ve learned the fairy tale counterparts of most of the prominent  Storybrooke characters, except for Doctor Whale.

One would think that, since his last name is “Whale”, that his fairy tale counterpart would be the whale, Monstro, that swallowed Pinocchio, but that seems too easy.

But, maybe, the writers know that we know it’s too easy, so they’d use Monstro anyway, knowing that it’d be unexpected, because it’s so expected. OW.

It’s interesting the main doctor of Storybrooke isn’t Doc’s counterpart, but we’ve seen that the fairy tale characters and their Storybrooke counterparts aren’t always alike. This also means that Doctor Whale’s fairy tale counterpart most likely has nothing to do with doctoring.

Most of the time the Storybrooke versions of the characters have names that are puns on their fairy tale counterparts. Rubies are red and Ruby is Red Riding Hood’s counterpart.

So, what do we know about the word “whale”, other than it is an aquatic mammal? Well, the word “whale” can also refer the a high-rolling gambler. The only thing I can think about that has fairy tales and gambling together is that weird island Pinocchio went to, where he gambles and smokes and then turns into a donkey…

So, Doctor Whale… is an ass?

Bah.