SPOILER ALERT! IT WAS BEHIND THE COUCH THE WHOLE TIME! SPOILER ALERT!
Hey, did you like that movie, The Avengers? Would you like to see something like that, but with different actors that don’t charge as much? OF COURSE YOU WOULD!
Yeah, I wish this show was about those guys instead too, kid.
Remember Agent Coulson from recent movies in the Marvel universe? Well, he’s back from the dead and ready to assemble a new sexy, sexy team of crimefighting sexy people. This time they don’t have super powers, though.
This episode was pretty much just about meeting all the members of the team and learning a bit about them. Not a whole lot else happens. They just go on a little mission and we see a bit of their personality and skillset. I understand why this type of episode is necessary, but I don’t really find them that interesting.
“Here’s so-and-so. This is the job they do. Well, on to the next guy”, over and over again. There will be more in depth character development in future episodes. There always is.
We also meet the team’s vehicles and doohickeys. I bet there’s a toyline that ties into this show.
It is said that this team is “level 7”, which is apparently about The Avenger’s security clearance. It’s a plot device that basically means that this show’s universe won’t necessarily overlap that much with the one from the movies. It’s a bit sad, because I bet that means that the characters from this show won’t even get a cameo in the future movies.
Did I miss it, or does the team not have an official name? Are they just “level 7” or “the agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”?
For some reason it really bugs me that their headquarters is inside a plane.
I hear that there’s a few significant changes between the pilot and subsequent episodes, so let’s see how that goes. Excelsior!
SPOILER ALERT! THIS CONTAINS SPOILER FOR THE SECOND EPISODE OF SEASON 1 OF ONCE UPON A TIME IN WONDERLAND, “TRUST ME”.
In this episode, it’s Jafar and the Red Queen VS Alice and the Knave of Hearts, in an epic race to locate Cyrus’ genie bottle. Well, when I say, “race” what I mean is “leisurely jaunt through the woods of Vancouver”.
Incidentally, putting giant foam mushrooms randomly amongst the trees doesn’t really make it look like a mystical land, but I appreciate that they tried and it is better than bad CGI backgrounds.
Tweedle-Ziggy and Tweedle-Stardust
Why do Tweedledee and Tweedledum have Ziggy Stardust lightning bolts on their faces? I mean, it’s fabulous! But why?
Jafar and the Red Queen want the genie’s bottle because it will allow Jafar to break the laws of magic. The laws of magic are: You can’t kill anyone; You can’t bring anyone by from the dead; You can’t change the past; And, you can’t make anyone fall in love. Except, we’ve seen these laws being broken. In this very episode, Jafar uses his magic to turn a bunch of peasants into dust, killing them. We’ve seen the White Rabbit and Jefferson from Once Upon a Time each open portals through time, so you can change the past. Dr. Frankenstein from Once Upon a Time also used magical hearts to raise the dead. I guess the laws only apply to genie magic? Jafar and the Red Queen must want to use magic to make someone fall in love with them, because I think that’s the only magic law we haven’t seen broken in this universe. They, of course, can’t say why they are doing the evil things they’re doing, almost as though they know they’re on a television show and that they have to pad things out for several episodes by being vague.
Jafar is keeping Cyrus in a silver cage, because genies are allergic to silver, apparently. I have never heard of genies having any weaknesses before. Hopefully, Cyrus is half vampire and will go on a crazy murderous, bloodsucking rampage soon.
I wish that Cyrus was actually a sinister character, like he was tricking Alice into falling in love with him, so that she’d wish for his freedom, but it’s just doe-eyes and romantic quips with this guy.
WHAT DID THE MOCK TURTLE EVER DO TO YOU?
Alice wants the genie bottle, because, after she makes her three wishes, Cyrus will be sucked back into his bottle and then they can be all kissy kissy magical in lovey dovey again.
I’m starting to really dislike the Alice and Cyrus romance, mostly because there wasn’t an actual romance. They just fell in love in love at first sight because they are both pretty, and now they’re slavishly devoted to eachother. It reminds me of Anakin and Padme in Star Wars: Attack of the Clones.
When they get Cyrus back, Alice wants the Knave of Hearts to wish for Cyrus’ freedon. Note: Alice wasn’t willing to wish for Cyrus’ freedom, because wishes always have a bad reaction in equal magnitude to the wish and wishing for a genie’s freedom is a big wish. Who cares if something bad happens to the Knave of Hearts after he wishes for Cyrus’ freedom, though? Alice doesn’t seem to care about anything other than her and Cyrus. For example: she was so fixated on getting to the bottle as fast as possible, that she stabs and threatens a poor giant mock turtle to take her to it. The poor turtle was just hanging out in a lake, seemingly asleep, and a crazy girl wakes it up by stabbing it in the neck. USE YOUR WORDS, ALICE!
Poor Knave of Hearts, too. He has to hear constantly about Alice’s epic romance and apparently he lost a love named Anastasia, in the past. I hope that this “Anastasia” is actually Anastasia Romanov, daughter of Tsar Nicolas II of Russia, and we get some sweet Rasputin action. Maybe, Jafar is also Rasputin. Everybody must be at least two things!
Anyway, long story short, the Red Queen ends up with the genie’s bottle, because the White Rabbit was randomly hiding behind a bush when Alice and Cyrus were burying it. Yep.
Oh, and one other thing, Alice says that her mother died in childbirth. I never trust these shows when somebody dies off-screen, hell, not even when they die on-screen. I bet that Alice’s mother isn’t really dead and that her mother’s disappearance has something to do with why Alice was led to Wonderland in the first place.
*UPDATE* I just remembered that one of the evil stepsisters from Cinderella was named “Anastasia”. That’s a possibility for the Knaves of Hearts lost love as well. I hope they wouldn’t be as obvious as that, though.
SPOILER ALERT! TRAB PU KCIP! TRAB PU KCIP! SPOILER ALERT!
In this episode Ichabod and Abbie try to prevent an evil witch from attaining corporeal form.
Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna BONANZA!
I’m still catching-up on this show, so this is just going to be a few points.
It’s interesting that they decided to use Conquest instead of Pestilence as one of the Four Horsemen. Although, it is one interpretation of the bible, Conquest seems like it would be more difficult to represent on screen.
Ichabod is still wearing his old-timey clothing. How many days in a row can he wear the same pants?
August Corbin is back in flashback form and maybe ghost form? I wonder how many ways they can finagle it so that Clancy Brown can keep starring on the show when his character isn’t alive?
Abbi was on her way to becoming an FBI profiler, but now it seems like she’s going to become a monster profiler.
Gee, General George Washington sure seemed to know a lot about demons and witches and the like.
Really? No one is going to notice that giant hole in the police station’s wall?
The power of witches is tied into the cycle of the moon. What happens during an eclipse?
Ugh. Ichabod claims to have an eidetic memory. This is always such an annoying trait in a character, because most television writers don’t have an eidetic memory and you always end up with a situation where the character doesn’t remember something from a past episode, but the audience does.
Of course the grotesque witch ends up turning sexy before the episode ends. You can’t have ugly, scary women on TV!
SPOILER ALERT! IN TONIGHT’S EPISODE OF “THE INTERNET” LAUREL HATES YOU! SPOILER ALERT!
So there’s this show, Sleepy Hollow, and people are all like, “Laurel, you’ve got to watch this show! It’s crazy!” and I’m all like, “No.” and they’re all like, “Come on.” and I’m all like, “Meh.” and they’re all like, “PLEASE?”, and I’m all like, “FINE.”
So, anyway, Sleepy Hollow, a fairy tale character, Ichabod Crane, who helps a modern-day police force solve crimes of a supernatural nature. You may ask, “Hey, isn’t that a bit like that show, Grimm?” NO! IT’S ENTIRELY DIFFERENT! SHUT UP!
Spooky!
Ichabod Crane is a history professor that has been buried for 250 years. He was charged with dispatching the Headless Horseman or Death the first rider of the Apocalypse, by President George Washington himself.
Ichabod has the “Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer” syndrome really bad. All of our new-fangled devices and cultural differences fright and confuse him.
Lt. Abbie Mills is the only detective on the force that believes Ichabod’s crazy tale, mostly because she saw her partner, Sheriff August Corbin, get his head cut off by the Headless Horseman with her own eyes.
Ichabod and Lt. Mills join together to find the Horseman’s head, before he can be reunited with it and usher in the Apocalypse. They find the head, but they are unable to destroy the Horseman, even though it’s just simple sunlight that kills him.
One of Abbie’s colleagues, Officer Andy Brooks is working for the dark forces behind the Headless Horseman and the doomsday prophecy.
Unlikely partners!
I don’t believe that this is the last we’ll see of Clancy Brown’s character, Sheriff August Corbin. For one thing he was given an “and” credit not a “guest-starring”. I just hope it isn’t his voice on a new tape every single episode, because, really, who needs hundreds of recordings of their own voice? Also, who uses tapes anymore? Seriously, Sheriff August Corbin just happening to have a recording that pertains the every weeks episode could get annoying fast.
Ichabod says something about the prophecy saying that he and Abbie will have to work for seven years together to keep the evil at bay. Hey, the starship Enterprise only had a five yar mission and its television series couldn’t even last that long. Aiming for a 7 year series? Wishful thinking much?
I bet there’s a whole todo in the next episode about getting Ichabod to dress up in modern-day clothing.
Isn’t it funny that none of the characters on this show are aware of the story, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, by Washington Irving?
Overall, it looks like I’m going to enjoy Sleepy Hollow much more than Grimm. I really like that normal people can actually see the supernatural beings on this show.
Hello everyone, and welcome to Once Upon a Time in Wonderland, the needless spinoff of Once Upon a Time, that, thus far, isn’t really the distinguishable from Once Upon a Time in any way.
If you’ve seen the previews for this show, then you’ve pretty much know most of the plot of this episode: Alice travels to Wonderland. Alice falls in love with a genie named “Cyrus”. The Red Queen kills Cyrus. Alice returns to the real world where everyone thinks shes crazy and sends her to an asylum. The Knave of Hearts and the White Rabbit breaks Alice out of the Asylum and return her to Wonderland. Alice believes that Cyrus is really alive and the start a search for him
There were two main twists: The White Rabbit is really working for the Red Queen and Jafar is in Wonderland because he want’s the three wishes that Cyrus gave to Alice.
So, with the recap done, here’s what I thought of the characters:
Bah! Another kid!
Young Alice
Young Alice is another annoying kid for us all to have. Like Henry from Once Upon a Time, her main trait is that she believes in fantastical things, even though those around her tell her that none of it is real.
I sure hope that we don’t get a bunch of flashbacks her annoying kid adventures in Wonderland.
Strange Attire
Adult Alice
Alice’s main trait is that she likes to run around in her underwear. Seriously, she spends most of this episode in Victorian undergarments.
In this episode, Alice signs a form and the camera cuts away before we see her last name. I wonder if her last name is significant. Maybe she is related to one of the characters from Once Upon a Time and they don’t want us to know about it just yet. Otherwise, she probably doesn’t have a last name, because the last name of Alice from the original stories was never mentioned.
Dr. Lyndgate and the Gaslighting Crew
Dr. Lyndgate
Dr. Lyndgate is one of the doctors of Bethlem Asylum and tries to convince Alice that Wonderland isn’t real. He is cast somewhat as a villain, but he really doesn’t have any evidence that Wonderland is real and the only conclusion to be had is that Alice is delusional. It’s just too bad that Victorian Era mental health treatments usually ended up doing more harm than good.
Even though Alice has escaped from the asylum, I don’t think that this is the last we will see of Dr. Lyndgate. Someone has to explain to Alice’s father what happened to her. Plus, Dr. Lyndgate has now seen the White Rabbit. Is he a believer now or does he discount what he’s seen as an hallucination?
Handsome!
Cyrus the Genie
Cyrus’ main traits are that he is handsome, he looks good and he wears a vest. Other than that, from what little we see of him in this episode, I guess it can be ascertained that he’s charming and a good fighter. He doesn’t seen to have any magic powers like a genie should and The Knave of Hearts even says that he has no magic, which is weird.
Cyrus gets thrown off a cliff and is presumed dead, but it’s really a trick by The Red Queen and Jafar to capture him. I thought that genies could fly though?
The leather jacket means that he’s a renegade.
The Knave of Hearts
The Knave of Hearts is our roguish badboy with a heart of gold. He did some bad things in Wonderland an dis on the run. For some odd reason he wants to start a new life in Storybrooke, so Wonderland must really be horrible.
A small thing: when we first meet the Knave of Hearts he visits Granny’s Diner in Storybrooke. There is a small cameo by Grumpy the dwarf and he is with a waitress the isn’t Ruby. It’s a girl named Ashley instead.
Another thing: The Knave of Hearts is in present-day Storybrooke, when the White Rabbit asks him to help save Alice, but Alice is in Victorian England, which means that the White Rabbit can open portals through time. Why don’t they just ask him to open a portal to a time before the Red Queen pushes Cyrus off a cliff, so that they can save him? Also, why do they have to leave right away to save Alice? Can’t they take some time to prepare before they travel back through time? When you can time travel, you have all the time in the world! I think that the writers just wanted a Storybrooke cameo and didn’t think things through. Time travel always screws stories up.
Is there an Uncanny Valley for animals?
The White Rabbit
The White Rabbit is a nervous, cowardly little guy. He is working for the Red Queen for reasons as of yet unknown to us. Although, he may have reason to be angry at Alice. She kidnapped him to use as proof the Wonderland exists. We never see how he escapes from her and he obviously didn’t come back with her to the real world, because no one believes her and thinks she’s insane.
Tasty!
The Cheshire Cat
The Cheshire Cat is hungry all the time. Alice says that he looks different than before, which suggests that he has become twisted by evil magic. I predict the he shall become uncursed and also an ally.
Evil gets the best clothing!
The Red Queen
The Red Queen is evil and she wears pretty dresses. We pretty much know nothing else about her at this point. She has some sort of beef with Alice that will probably be revealed in a flashback.
No there’s some bad blue screen!
Jafar
Jafar is evil and he has a sweet-looking snake cane. He wants the three wishes that Cyrus gave to Alice.
Wishes in this universe are actual physical objects that look like jewels and can be traded to other people or stolen. We don’t know what Jafar wants to wish for. Wishes always come with a catch though, so is it really a good idea for him to be seeking them out?
How did characters from Agrabah get to Wonderland? Mysteries!
Tweedle #1?Tweedle #2?
Here is a thing that bugs me. The credits mention “Tweedle #1” and “Tweedle #2”. Did the mean “Tweedledee” and “Tweedledum”, or did the mean “Thing 1” and “Thing 2”?
