SPOILER ALERT! I’M REALLY BAD AT SELF-EDITING!
This episode is a lot more fun, if you keep in mind that “box” is a slang term for “vagina”.
So, we finally meet Rumpelstiltskin’s dad, who is a grifter by trade.
All this time, we’ve been told by this show that Rumpelstiltskin’s father’s main trait was that he was a coward, but we don’t really see that demonstrated in this episode. All we are shown is that Rumpelstiltskin’s father is dishonest and extremely self-serving. He seems to be a great deal braver than Rumpelstiltskin, in fact.
So, to continue to engage in a life of crime and drunkenness, Rumpelstiltskin foists his whiny son on a couple of weird spinster ladies who dress the same.
He gives Rumpelstiltskin a creep doll to keep the poor kid company. There ya go. That’s the origin story for the creepy doll that Rumpelstiltskin has been carrying around while going nuts in the jungle, this season. There really isn’t anything special about it, other than it coming from his father.
The weird sisters, or lesbian life partners, or whatever they are, teach Rumpelstiltskin how to spin wool. So, that’s the origin of that thing too. Wait, Rumpelstiltskin told his wife, Milah, that his mom taught him to spin, not his moms. They’re not even his moms, though, they’re just some ladies his dad knew.
Who are these spinster ladies, really? I’d say that they’re secretly the Spinners of Fate from Greek myth, but there are only two of them. If I recall correctly, there should be the spinner, the measurer and the cutter, if they really are the Greek Fates. Maybe, they need Rumpelstiltskin to fill-in as the third role? They really seem to want to keep Rumpelstiltskin.
Another possible reference to Greek mythology? Seriously, when is Hercules going to show up and kick everyone’s ass?
Anyway, there’s definitely something off about these spinsters. They give Rumpelstiltskin a magic bean, so that he and his father can escape to a land where no one knows that Rumpelstiltskin’s father is a grifter.
Why haven’t they used the bean themselves? They live in a dirty hovel and their lives don’t really seem that great.
Where did they get the bean in the first place? The giants would still be alive at this point and it would be hard to steal one.
And here is an example of how Rumpelstiltskin’s father is braver than Rumpelstiltskin. They decide to use the magic bean to go to Neverland and Rumpelstiltskin dives right into the portal, quite unlike how Rumpelstiltskin was unwilling to go through the portal years later with Baelfire.
The villains and heroes are reunited, and everyone turns on Rumpelstiltskin, because Neal tells them all about the prophecy and how Rumpelstiltskin would have to kill Henry to prevent his own death.
This doesn’t last long. They need Rumpelstiltskin, because he is the most powerful magic-user.
The plan is to sneak-up on Peter Pan and trap him forever inside Pandora’s Box.
Neal doesn’t like the idea of Rumpelstiltskin having his hands on Pandora’s Box, though. Neal takes Pandora’s Box, so that if Rumpelstiltskin turns on them, Neal can trap him inside the box to stop him.
They invade Pan’s camp, but Henry and Pan aren’t there anymore. Wendy is there, though, and she and Baelfire are finally reunited after many years.
I still confused about the timeline here. How did Baelfire not meet-up with Wendy during his first stay in Neverland? When he did get back to Earth, why didn’t he look up Wendy to see what happened to her? They were like family, after all.
Anyway, Wendy tells the group that Pan has taken Henry to Skull Rock and they have to hurry because Pan is going to remove Henry’s heart so that he can gain all its power.
When they get to Skull Rock, they’re blocked by a magic barrier that only lets people without shadows through. Rumpelstiltskin can get past, because he cut of his shadow ages ago and now Neal finally believes him about it.
Wouldn’t it be really easy for Neal to check if his father had a shadow, though? He could have just had Rumpelstiltskin stand by the fire and looked. Whatever.
How does everyone else cross the barrier? The light from the moon is causing them all to have shadows! Regina decides to join with Emma, so that their combined magics will cause an eclipse.
Yes, moving an entire planet so that it blocks the path of the light from the sun from reaching the moon is much easier than conjuring up an opaque blanket or something to block the light.
Whuh-Oh! Our heroes are running out of time! We can tell this, because there is a giant hourglass covered in skulls to show us.
Yo, Henry, when there are a bunch of skulls all over the place, it’s usually a huge red flag that something bad is about to go down.
Back in the past Neverland, Rumpelstiltskin’s father wants to fly, but can’t. A shadow shows up to tell him it’s because he’s an adult.
There’s an easy fix though! On Neverland, your beliefs become real! All he has to do is believe really, really hard that he is a child and he will become one. The only problem is that Rumpelstiltskin is a constant reminder that he is, in fact, an adult.
Easy peasy! Just give your son to the creepy evil shadow!
And then, Rumpelstiltskin’s father starts turning into a child, even before Rumpelstiltskin is out of eyesight. Wouldn’t the kid have to away for a while before he could believe he was a kid himself?
IT TURN’S OUT THAT PETER PAN WAS RUMPELSTILTSKIN’S FATHER THIS WHOLE TIME! Why did his accent change as well? At least we now know why Peter Pan says creepy sex stuff once in a while.
So, Peter Pan is Rumpelstiltskin’s father? In a weird way, I already sort of guessed this by the second episode this season, only I thought the reason that he was younger than Rumpelstiltskin was because he was Merlin and was aging backwards.
And now I’m confused again as to the exact nature of the Shadows. Who does the first Shadow belong to? It’s not Peter Pan’s. It predates him.
Rumpelstiltskin holding his doll and Pandora’s box is to illustrate to the viewer the difficult choice that Rumpelstiltskin has to make. Does he reconcile with his father, or destroy him?
But, really, it’s Peter Pan that has Pandora’s Box, because Pan believes that he has the box. Doesn’t Rumpelstiltskin believe that he has the box, too? It’s confusing this belief magic stuff.
Whatever. Peter Pan traps Rumpelstiltskin in Pandora’s Box.
Without Rumpelstiltskin to stop Peter Pan, he convinces stupid Henry to tear out his own heart.
What was the stupid lie that Pan told Henry to get him to do this? Something stupid about “saving magic”? Bleh. Henry is dumb.
Henry puts his heart into Pan’s chest. Peter Pan has two hearts now and has become an all-powerful time lord or something.
I bet this was really all about the Shadow becoming all-powerful. After all, it’s been the Shadow telling Peter Pan what to do this whole time.
And Henry is dead. AGAIN. He won’t stay dead for long. For one thing, Rumpelstiltskin’s Shadow is still flying free and stupid Peter Pan didn’t put Pandora’s Box in his pocket. Pan just left the box lying on a ledge, where anyone can get at it.
Also, I bet it wasn’t even Henry’s real heart. He could have conjured up a decoy heart with the power of his belief.